The connection - New beginnings

Chapter Twelve - Coffee shop confessions

Alex

Fuck, fuck, double fuck. I cursed to myself as I caught sight of Chase and Nate sat together at a nearby table. I felt my body instantly tense as I glanced over at Zac's unsuspecting face. 

"Why don't know guys go and get a table over there and me and Luc will order the drinks" Natalie shot me a wary smile as we approached the counter, she'd seen them too. 

"Sure, thanks Nat. The usual caramel latte for me" I shot her a thankful smile as I grabbed Zac's arm and gently pulled him the other direction.

"What about you Zac?" Natalie questioned with a smile plastered on her face.

"Uh I'll have a smoothie, something fruity will do"

"Sure thing" 

I practically dragged him away from the queue and found a table near the back and sat down. Panic was evident on my face.

"Everything okay babe? You seem a bit....on edge?" Zac shot me a concerned look as he reached out and took my hand.

"I'm fine, just strange being home after so long that's all" I lied as I glanced over towards their table. Nate had his back to me and Chase was looking at the coffee that sat in from of him. I watched as Lucas approached their table. They were too far away for me to listen in but it was hardly surprising. Natalie had told me Luc and Nate had become really good mates whilst I was gone. They both had played on the hockey team and when Jules came on the scene I get the impression the four of them would hang out a lot. A pang of jealousy hit me and I pulled back in my seat turning my attention away from them as I forced the negative thoughts to leave my head.

"More friends from school?" I looked up to see Zac watching me as he nodded towards Lucas chatting animatedly to Chase and Nate.

"Uh sort of" I mumbled, caught off guard. I wasn't ready for this. I'd told Zac I had a couple of exes and he knew they were brothers but I hadn't gone into the full story. He just knew I'd had a rough time and had left to help myself move on.

"I'm guessing that's them...your exes?" He asked with a raised brow

"Yeah" I whispered not able to look him in the eye

"Well you certainly had a type" he joked with a smirk trying to lighten the situation "looks like I broke the mould" he gave my hand a little squeeze and I offered him a small smile.

I glanced back over at them, Zac was right. I did have a type. Chase had messy black hair whilst Nate's was slightly shorter and had a hint of dark brown to it. They both had the same green eyes that would capture my attention. I found myself dreaming of those eyes many nights. I felt a spark of electricity run through me as my gaze locked onto Chase's. He must have heard me. Shit.  

Like you dreamed of me last night

I instantly stood up causing my chair to scrape across the floor. All eyes were on me as Natalie and Lucas approached with our drinks.

"You okay babe?" Zac asked in confusion.

"Yeah sorry I just remembered I left my phone in your car and I'm expecting a call from my mum. Can I have the keys so I can quickly go grab it" I hoped they believed my lie. I mean I know Natalie would see right through it but Zac and Luc both seemed to buy it.

"Sure, here" he chirped as he handed me the keys

"Don't be long babe, your drink will get cold" he smiled as I fumbled with the keys in my hand. Natalie shot me a concerned look. She always knew when something was up.

"Be right back" I murmured as I rushed out of there desperately trying to escape the tension that has begun to surround me. I reached Zac's car and rested my back against the cool metal allowing it to offer me some relief.

"I think we need to talk" his smooth voice rung in my ears as I opened my eyes to find Chase stood a few feet in front of me. I nodded at him silently as I felt tears begin to prick my eyes.

"I know we do, I just can't do it right now Chase. Zac's inside" I pleaded hoping he would understand and drop  the subject.

"You pulled me into your dream" he simply stated "it felt so real" 

I squeezed my eyes shut not wanting to hear this right now. He wasn't going to let this go.

"It wasn't a dream" my voice was all but a whisper as the tears finally began to fall 

"What do you mean it wasn't a dream?" He asked confused 

"I was awake...I was....I guess I imagined it was you" I shamefully admitted unable to look him in the eye

"You were with Zac?" He asked dumbfounded. I could tell by his tone of voice he was horrified. All I could do was nod. I couldn't bring myself to say the words.

"Your boyfriend had this head between your legs and you imagined it was me. You pulled me in somehow...Lex I made you fucking cum! Don't you see how fucked up this is?!" He snapped at me 

"I'm sorry" I began to cry harder. Everything he was saying was true. I was fucked up. I'd imagined it was him, I'd wanted it to be him. What was wrong with me, was I that messed up that I couldn't even have sex with my damn boyfriend without imagining it was Chase. I'd basically cheated. I was nothing more than a wh-

"Don't you dare finish that thought" he breathed into my ear as he pulled me against his chest. I don't even know when he got this close to me. I'd been too busy having a breakdown to notice. He must hate me.

"I don't hate you, I could never hate you" he whispered into my hair as he held me against him. His voice was softer now, any trace of anger was gone. I allowed myself a few more seconds held against his chest before pulling away and wiping my tears.

"I'm sorry Chase. For everything" 

I felt awful. He didn't deserve this, me to be playing with his heart again. I really was truly sorry. He remained still just looking at me 

"Goodbye Chase" I whispered as I walked passed him and headed back towards the coffee shop entrance. I could see Nate stood leaning against the wall as I approached, he regarded me with a concerned look. He probably saw the whole heated exchange. I put my head down and tried to ignore him as I reached for the handle on the door

"Don't hurt him Alex. He can't take anymore" 

His words made me halt in my tracks as I took a moment to process what he had said. I glanced back at Chase who was still stood with his back to me.

"I don't want to hurt anyone" I spoke without meeting his eye before opening the door and disappearing inside.