The connection - New beginnings

Chapter sixteen - Denial

Chase

I sat on the sofa replaying the memory of Alex screaming her feelings for me to Nate earlier today. I felt numb. Part of me happy that she admitted she still loved me but the other part devastated that she didn't want anything to happen. She didn't want me she'd made that clear.

"Hey, you looked like you needed this" Nate said as he offered me a beer before slouching next to me on the sofa.

"Thanks" I mumbled before taking a long swig.

"When I text you to come over I didn't know exactly what had happened. Well I knew what had happened but I didn't know why" he trailed off. 

I'd got a text from Nate saying Alex had passed out  at Jules's and that he was worried about her, I'd raced straight over and walked in just in time to hear her speech about how much she didn't want to be with me.

"It's okay man, guess I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up when she came back. At least I know where I stand now" I took another long swig.

"Yeah I guess" 

"So how's Jules taking it? Having her around?" I asked trying to take the focus off of me

"Pretty well actually. They had a little talk, think she asked her outright if she still loved me" he chuckled as he took a drink of his own beer

"Oh yeah?" I asked mildly amused at Jules's boldness

"Think the answer she gave was pretty much the same as I gave her when she asked me...we aren't in love with each other but there's always going to be something there that cares for one another. Just not in that way anymore" 

I nodded, I got that. He'd pretty much told me as much before. I knew he'd been shutting her out since she'd been back. He didn't feel it was fair on Jules to have another girl in his head and I respected that. My brother was a better man than me that's for sure.

"It would probably be easier if I could do the same but I just can't seem to let her go" I admitted as I finished my beer and placed the empty bottle on the coffee table.

"I know it's not what you want to hear but she clearly feels the same about you. It's just a matter of time before she truly accepts it. She's kidding herself pretending she's moved on with Zac"

"She doesn't love him. She told me as much the other day" 

"That doesn't surprise me"

"Pretty fucked up isn't it. She doesn't love him yet she's with him, she loves me but doesn't want to be with me" I laughed in disbelief.

"Yeah it's fucked up but Chase you need to do what's best for you. You can't put your life on hold whilst you wait around for her. She might not ever come around. You need to put yourself first for a change" 

I knew he was right but I wasn't ready to let go of her just yet. I loved her and I knew she loved me. I wasn't  going to give up without a fight.

**********

Alex

I got out of there as fast as I could without speaking a word to Chase before I ran through the door and headed to my car. I shot a quick text to Jules apologising for running out without saying goodbye before driving home. I pulled onto the drive and composed myself for a couple of minutes, checking my reflection in the mirror to make sure any signs of tears were long gone. I  ran my hands through my hair and let out a sigh. That would have to do.

"Hey babe" Zac called from the kitchen as I closed the front door behind me, he was sat eating a sandwich at the breakfast bar "did you get your errands sorted?" He asked with a smile