The connection - New beginnings

Chapter Twenty five - Safe

Alex

I felt a dull ache throughout my body as I lay still trying not to move, I felt cold. Not as cold as before but still cold, a slight shiver ran through me and I felt a gentle squeeze on my right hand. It was soft, warm. I welcomed the heat as I felt it's warmth radiate through to my palm. The soft prickles of tingles flowed with it. Chase.

"Lex baby can you hear me? It's Chase, you're safe now" his soft voice spoke no louder than a whisper.

I wiggled my fingers slightly in his hand as I willed my eyes to open. I felt so tired. As I forced them open the bright light caused me to squint in discomfort.

"Hang on a sec, I'll turn the main lights off and switch the lamp on"

I felt his hand leave mind for a moment as I heard the click of the light switch before his warmth returned. I tried again to open my eyes, this time with more success.

"Chase" I croaked, my voice sounded so alien to me. 

"Baby you need to rest, don't try to speak too much just yet, you need to regain some energy" he offered me a sad smile as he raised his hand to brush a strand of hair off my face. I flinched without meaning to as his hand brushed against my cheek. I saw the look of anguish flash across his face as he took in my reaction.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to" he pleaded, his voice empty and sad. He looked back at my empty hand as his rested next to it. I could tell he didn't know what to do, if he should hold it again or not. I made the decision for him when I grasped his hand and gave him as tight a squeeze as I could before closing my eyes again.

"Please stay with me" I whispered before I felt myself drift off to sleep again.

**************

When I woke up again I found Chase snoring lightly with his head resting of the edge of my hospital bed and his hand still firmly in mine. He looked exhausted. I studied his face and could see the dark circles under his eyes. I didn't want to wake him, he looked like he needed some rest. The door handle slowly turned and the quiet creak of the door opening caught me off guard. My heart felt like it jumped out of my chest as I looked at the door like a frightened rabbit caught in the headlights. 

"I didn't mean to frighten you, sorry i thought you were still sleeping. I came to try and get Chase to have a rest" Nate's soft voice soothed as he closed the door quietly behind him. He looked over at Chase asleep on the bed.

"I think that's the first time he's slept since the night of the party" he sighed. I watched him as he remained over the other side of the room. It was like he was scared to come closer to me.

"Sorry, I guess I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable" he said as he slowly walked around the the other side of my bed and took the vacant seat opposite his brother.

"You heard me just then?" I questioned with a little cough. I really needed to clear my throat.

"Here let me get you some water....and Uh, yes" he shot me a small smile as he offered me a cup of water. I gulped it down enjoying the feeling of it soothing my throat. I thought we'd stopped hearing each other. He didn't want it to be unfair on Jules so I was confused why he suddenly could hear me again.

"When we were trying to find you...I needed to be able to hear you in case you reached out? His green eyes fell on me as he watched for my reaction. I turned my attention to Chase. 

"Can I ask you something. Like properly not in my head" I turned to meet his gaze once again, I couldn't help but feel tears fill my eyes. Nate nodded in response. I could see he was finding this emotional as well.

"Mike said he was going to send Chase a video. I need to know if he did" the tears rolled down my face as I watched Nate's face fall as he looked down averting my gaze.

"He did" 

I let out a shaky breath "will he be okay? He isn't going to do anything stupid is he? I know he's probably been blaming himself and I just don't want him to-" tears were freely flowing as I spoke.

"Shhh Alex, this isn't about Chase. You don't need to be worrying about anyone but yourself right now. We are all just worried about you and how you are, don't worry about Chase. He will be fine as long as he has you. He just wants you to be safe. So do I" he smiled down at me.

"Thinking of him is the only thing that kept me going you know. Wishing and hoping that he would find me. I wanted to give up but I knew I couldn't, he needed me and I knew that. He kept me alive and if I gave up I knew he would. I stayed strong as long as I could because I think deep down I knew he would save me and I wanted so desperately to be saved by him. We wasted so much time being apart and I know that was down to me but I honestly don't ever want to let him go again" 

"Do you really mean that" a soft whisper spoke as I turned to my right to find Chase's green eyes watching me. I nodded at him and offered him a small smile.

"I meant every word" 

I watched as he leaned down and kissed the back of my hand. It felt weird watching him kiss my hand but it was the only form of comfort that I think I could handle right now. Touching my hand was safe but anything else I don't think I was ready for. I couldn't even hug my own mother when I saw her. Having someone's arms around me made my skin crawl. I met his eyes as they studied me. Guess I should probably try to control my thoughts.

You don't have to hide anything from me, don't worry about upsetting me. I just want to be here for you.

I smiled up at him as he gave my hand another gently squeeze. Having him here with me made me feel safer somehow. I didn't want to be by myself. An image of me at the creek flashed into my head, if I hadn't gone there alone Mike may have never taken me. 

"I'm gonna go and call Natalie, let her know you're awake" Nate spoke softly, drawing my attention back to him. Shit I bet he felt a bit like a third wheel. He had helped find me too, I didn't want him to feel like I didn't appreciate that.

"Nate you don't have to go..."

He waved me off before I could finish "Yeah I do, you two need some time" he looked between us with a worried expression before heading for the door and leaving us alone.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Chase asked, his bright green eyes on me. I shuffled slightly in my bed not knowing what to say. Did I want to talk about it?

"No pressure, but when you're ready. I'm here" he offered and I nodded in return.

"I just hate that he's ruined it for me, our place. I had such happy memories at the creek and now....well now..." I couldn't finish without a tear escaping. "He's taken that away from me, all I will ever think of is him" I closed my eyes as I let the tears flow silently down my face. 

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there, I shouldn't have got into a fight with Zac. I should have never let you leave the party. Lex if I could go back and and do things differently I would. I hate that this has happened to you but I promise I'll do whatever you need to make you feel okay again" 

"I don't blame you Chase, I need you to know that. This isn't anyones fault but Mikes. I don't know how long it will take for me to feel normal again but I want you here with me. I don't want to be alone. I feel safe when I'm with you" 

"Then I'll never leave your side, I swear to you Lex. Unless you tell me to go, I'll be here" he kissed the back of my hand again as he spoke.