The connection - New beginnings

Chapter five - Old habits die hard

Nate

I stood motionless just looking at her. I'd told myself a thousand times that I was over her but seeing her again had caught me off guard.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come" she stammered as she stood from the bench and hurried away from me.

"Alex wait" I called after her noticing she had forgotten to pick up her shoes. "Your shoes" I held them out to her as I saw the signs of a blush creeping to her cheeks.

"Thanks" she mumbled without looking up to meet my gaze.

"It's good to see you" I said honestly. After everything we had been through I could never be unhappy to see her. She would always be important to me.

"Do you really mean that" she croaked as she finally brought her gaze up to meet mine. Her eyes shone with tears. I reached out and brushed one away with my thumb and felt the spark of those tingles against my palm. She jumped back releasing herself from my touch.

"Nate please don't" she sobbed

"I didn't mean to upset you. Alex I honestly didn't, I really am happy to see you. I'm glad you're doing okay. Lucas said you've got a pretty good thing going for you at your new school?"

"Yeah, well my old school now I guess. We've all graduated" she sniffled as she recovered herself.

"Listen I know this is weird us seeing each other after such a long time. I know things didn't exactly end how I had wanted them to but I want you to know I don't blame you for anything. It took me a long time but I'm really happy now. Jules is amazing and I'm not saying that to upset you but I heard you've moved on too and I just wanted to let you know there's no hard feelings there for me. It may be a bit weird but I'm here if you need someone to talk to, you know if you need a friend" I smiled sincerely at her. I really did mean it. I was happy and I wanted her to be happy too.

"Thanks Nate. That really means a lot....it's just intense you know, coming back home after a year away. Everything is different yet still the same. That probably doesn't make sense does it" she chuckled 

"It makes perfect sense. Come on, how about we head back inside and find Natalie. I know you will be feeling guilty about biting her head off earlier" I bumped her shoulder forcing her to smile.

"You're still in my head I see Nate Ashford" she raised her brow at me with a smile.

"What can I say, guess there's some things we can't change" 

We headed inside and made our way through the crowd toward the games room where I'd left Lucas and the hockey guys playing a game of pool. As we approached I felt Natalie's eyes on me as she eyed me and Alex walking towards them. I didn't need to be able to read her thoughts to work out what she was thinking.

"Hey Nate, there you are. You disappeared on us there" Lucas cheered as he passed me a beer bottle. 

"So Al are we okay?" Natalie asked tentatively 

"We're fine" Alex replied whilst pulling her friend into a hug "but no more surprises okay" she chuckled.

"Promise" Natalie beamed in response.

"So this is where the parties at" I felt two arms snake around my waist as Jules pulled me in for a hug. 

"Aw babe the party is wherever you are" I replied sweetly as I bent down to kiss her, she moved her hand to my head pulling me in closing making me to deepen the kiss.

That should be me

The thoughts filled my head forcing me to break the kiss. Luckily Jules didn't notice my hesitation. I took a swig of my beer and shot a warning glance at Alex who's face had turned bright red.

I'm so sorry, I don't know where that came from

Her thoughts filled my head once more. God we needed to get a handle on this, we'd gotten pretty good at shutting each other out before she'd left but looks like that wasn't working for us tonight.

"I'm gonna go use the bathroom, Natalie can you show me where it is" Alex spoke in almost a whisper as she grabbed her best friends hand and disappeared into the crowd.

"That was weird" Jules announced as her gaze followed Alex and Natalie leave the room.

"Come on babe, it's the first time we've seen each other in a year. It's gonna be a bit weird" I tried to smooth it over.

"I guess so. But if she thinks I'm going to stop kissing my boyfriend in public then she's got another thing coming" she smiled seductively at me as she pulled me into another kiss. This time I didn't hold back.

*******

Alex

"Are you going to tell me what happened back there" Natalie eyed me in the mirror as I splashed water on my face.

"Nothing happened, I'm fine" I lied

"Oh come on Al, you had that look about you. You're in each other's heads again aren't you?"

"It's nothing" I shook my head as I willed myself to calm down. How could I let him hear me like that. Why was I even having those thoughts. I'd moved on, I was happy.

"Alex" I felt Natalie's hand rest against my arm and I couldn't stop it. The tears began to fall and my best friend pulled me into a comforting hug.

"I'm sorry Nat I don't even know why I'm crying, it's just a bit much seeing him again after all this time I guess. It caught me off guard. I wasn't prepared" I sniffled into her shoulder.

"Sorry I shouldn't of brought you here. I just thought it would be good for you to get out. You seemed to be doing so well with Zac and your fresh start" 

"I was, I am. I don't know Nat it's just hard I guess, I'm happy for Nate. I'm glad he's found someone but seeing it for myself...I don't know if I was mentally prepared for that. Guess I'm not as fixed as I thought" I shrugged as I wiped the last of my tears from my puffy face.

"Well now that you've had chance to see him again, to speak to him. Maybe you can move on properly, maybe you both just needed some closure to officially say goodbye?" My best friend looked at me with hopeful eyes. She really was trying her best to put a positive spin on the situation and I loved her for it. I didn't want to ruin her night but I really didn't want to be here anymore.

"I guess so, but I think maybe I've had enough closure for one night. Do you mind if I take your car and go home? I know we'd all planned to crash here but I'm just not feeling it and I can swing by and pick you guys up in the morning" I tried to sound cheerful but she gave me that knowing look.

"I'll come with you, I don't want you to be alone right now"

"Honestly Natalie I think being alone is exactly what I need right now. I don't want to upset you but I just think I might go for a drive to clear my head. Besides I don't want to ruin your night and knowing you'd be missing Lucas would just make me feel even worse" I forced a smile at her hoping she'd understand.

She pulled me into another hug "I get it Al but you call me if you change your mind, I don't care how late it is. I mean it" she shot me a serious look as we broke our hug.

"I promise....oh and do you think you could say goodbye to everyone for me. I don't really want to go back down there and face Jules and Nate right now" 

She shot me a smile as she opened the door to exit the bathroom "consider it done" 

She handed me the car keys and I made my way outside into the crisp night air. I could almost feel the stress leave my body with each step I took away from the house. I got behind the wheel and started the engine, as I headed out the driveway I looked in the rearview mirror and caught sight of piercing green eyes watching me drive away.