The connection - New beginnings

Chapter Twenty eight - Guilty conscience

Josh

I'd been back in town now almost two weeks and I'd spent most of that time hanging out with Lucas and Nate. I hadn't visited Alex since she'd been home but we'd exchanged a few texts and I planned on going to see her later today. Nate had been keeping us all updated, he had been catching up with Chase everyday and had been by the visit a few times. 

"Hey Nat, you wanna come with me to see Alex later?" I asked hopefully, it hadn't escaped my attention that Natalie hadn't been to see her since she'd been found. Not even at the hospital.

"Um I can't today sorry Josh, maybe next time" she mumbled as she took a sip of her coke.

I exchanged a concerned look with Luc. He'd told me he was worried about Natalie and how she had been acting since everything happened with Alex. She'd been shutting him out, well shutting everyone out. Alex was her best friend and she didn't even visit her at the hospital and now she was avoiding seeing her at home. Something wasn't right.

"Hey Nat, why don't me and you make plans to visit Alex later this week? We can take her over some movies and pick up smoothies and snacks, make a girls day out of it?" Jules offered hopefully.

"Yeah...maybe, or maybe next week" 

Nate looked at her with a confused expression, I could tell he was getting annoyed by Natalie's indifference to the situation. She barely mentioned Alex lately and would leave the room whenever we discussed how she was doing.

"What the fuck is your problem Natalie, she's supposed to be your best friend and you're acting like you don't give a fuck about her" he snapped as he stood from his seat and glared at her.

"Hey calm down man, this is hard for her too you know" Luc defended

"Really...hard for her, she's the one who was kidnapped and violated is she?" Nate seethed as Luc squared up to him.

"Guys calm down" I stood between them pushing them apart "this isn't helping anyone"

"I tell you what isn't helping, her ignoring her friend at a time she needs her most" Nate pointed his finger at Natalie who had began to sob quietly.

Jules rushed to her side to offer comfort and Lucas rushed over to do the same. Nate stood watching, frustration etched over his expression. 

"Hey, let's go outside and take a breath" I ushered him out of the room and through the back door.

Once outside he took in a deep breath and steadied himself

"I didn't mean to go off on her like that, I just don't understand how she could basically abandon her like this" he sighed as he sat on the garden wall.

"I know man but I think it's more complicated than that. You weren't around when shit went down with Natalie and Mike the first time. He used her to hurt Alex and it tore Natalie apart. She betrayed her friend because Mike blackmailed her, she hated herself for it. Now this has happened, it's probably opened up old wounds" 

"But they worked through that, they're so close now, practically like sisters"

"Which probably makes it even harder for her. Natalie feels partly responsible, the whole reason that Mike found out Miss Jenson was sleeping with Chase was because Natalie filmed them thinking she was catching Mike cheating. He found the footage on her phone and since then he started his personal vendetta against Chase. Alex is just collateral damage to him, he hurt her to hurt him and Natalie feels responsible in a way"

"But that's crap, she's not to blame for Mike being a deranged psycho. Natalie was as much a victim as Alex when this all started, Alex knew that. Once she knew the truth about the blackmail she forgave Natalie in a heartbeat for what happened with Chase. Alex would never blame her for this, not in a million years"

"I know that and you know that but Natalie doesn't know that, she feels guilty Nate. This whole thing started because Mike was jealous that Miss Jenson wanted Chase over him. Natalie just sees it that she created the problem by having that video on her phone but the truth is Mike was bound to find out eventually because Miss Jenson did everything she could to keep Chase, she never wanted Mike"

"Well then we need to make her see that she's wrong, if she didn't feel so guilty then she would be with her best friend"

"She won't listen, me and Luc have already tried to talk to her. She won't listen to us"

"Well she needs to listen to someone" he grabbed his phone from his pocket and started to type. His phone beeped and he scanned the screen before returning it to his pocket.

"Come on, let's grab the others, we're going for a drive"

****************

Natalie

Twenty minutes later we were pulling up outside Alex's house. 

"What are we doing here Nate?" Lucas asked, his voice stern.

"Relax, we aren't going inside. But Natalie, you need to get out"

"What, I already told you I'm not up for visiting Alex today" I felt tears prick my eyes as I spoke.

"You aren't seeing Natalie, but someone else wants to talk to you" he nodded towards the window and I looked out to see Chase approaching. He looked tired but marginally better than how he'd looked when I'd last seen him. He stopped a few feet away from the car and looked in at me. I blinked my tears away as I reached for the handle and opened the car door to get out. I could feel my hands shaking as I closed it behind me. I wasn't ready for this. Chase was going to be angry at me for not visiting, Nate was mad. Alex probably was too but I just couldn't.

I took a deep breath and took an awkward step towards where Chase stood on the grass up ahead. I kept my eyes on the ground so I didn't have to see the angry look I knew would be on his face. 

"Natalie" he spoke softly and I looked up just in time to see him striding towards me closing the gap between us. He engulfed me in a tight embrace, his arms pulling me tight against his chest as I felt him let out a breath as he whispered in my ear 

"It's okay, just let it go, she's okay now" on hearing his kind words I found myself hugging him back. "Shhhh, it's going to be okay" he soothed as I felt his hand brush against my hair in a comforting gesture. I hadn't realised I'd started to cry but now the tears were falling freely as he held me against his chest. I had expected him to blame me, to shout at me, tell me it was my fault somehow but instead he offered me comfort. He didn't blame me at all. When I finally composed myself and pulled away, I looked up at him and could see the emotion in his face.

"Natalie you are not to blame for any of this, I know I should have said this sooner but all that shit we Mike, Miss Jenson and me was fucked up. You having that video on your phone is not an excuse for Mike to do what he's done. I don't blame you and Alex certainly doesn't blame you. Please don't blame yourself. If anyone is to blame it's me for sleeping with Miss Jenson in the first place but even I know that Mike is truly the one at fault here"

"I just...I can't help but think that none of this would have happened if I hadn't made that video, or at the least I should have deleted it once I saw it wasn't Mike" I sniffed.

"If you hadn't made that video Mike still would have found out somehow, me and Miss Jenson weren't exactly discreet and once me and alex became a thing she did everything she could to try and keep me, she only used Mike to try and make me jealous. It was always going to end up coming out somehow"

"I just feel responsible" I sighed

"Well please don't. You have been an amazing friend to alex, with everything she's been through with me and Nate, you've been her rock. She needs you now more than ever"

"I know, I'm sorry I've not visited. I just...I"

"I know. I understand now, Nate does too. He asked me to talk to you, said he thought you might listen to me" he smirked which caused me to smile back.

"She's really lucky to have guys like you fighting in her corner you know. I hope the two of you can find your way back to each other"

"I hope so too"