The connection - New beginnings

Chapter Twenty six - Whatever you want, whatever you need

Alex

We pulled up outside the house that I'd spent most of my life living in but as I looked at it now I couldn't help but feel that it all felt a bit different some how. My mum turned and looked at me with a sad smile, I'd become all too familiar with that expression over the last few days. Everyone seemed to be walked on egg shells around me like they didn't know what to say. I guess I'd probably feel the same if I were them but it just made me feel...I don't know, broken or something.

"Here we are sweetie, let's get you settled in and I'll make some hot chocolates" her smile grew slightly as she spoke. I could tell she was trying to act normal for my benefit.

"Actually mum I'm really tired, do you mind if I just go to my room for a lie down?" I asked, only half lying. I was tired but I kind of just wanted to have some time in my room without my mums sad eyes watching me. 

"Of course hunny, I'll save the hot chocolates for later" 

We got out of the car and before I'd fully stepped out of the car Chase had rushed out of the back passenger seat and was at my door to help me. 

"I'll take your bag up to your room and I can hang out downstairs if you want to be alone?" He offered as we walked towards the front door. I stopped in my tracks and turned to face him, his face looking mildly panicked at my sudden change of pace.

"Can you stay with me in my room?" I asked before finishing off in my head

I wasn't trying to get away from you, I just need a bit of a break from people looking at me like I'm some fragile doll who is going to break at the slightest touch. I didn't mean you, I'd like it if you would stay.

I smiled up at him softly and he reached for my hand as he nodded his head and led the way inside and up to my room.

I sat on the edge of the bed as he set my bag down on my dressing table and hovered a few feet in front of me.

"Is there something I can get for you, anything you want to do or talk about?" He asked as he finally settled on the stool at my dressing table.

"I um...I actually really need a shower" I chuckled slightly at the embarrassing admission "I haven't had a proper one yet and I'm pretty sure I must smell awful. My hair feels gross" I scrunched my nose as I attempted to run my fingers through my hair unsuccessfully.

"You don't smell awful" he chuckled as he stood up "I'll go and heat the shower up for you"

I watched as he pushed open the door to my en-suite and started up the shower, I could see him testing the temperature of the water before turning and smiling at me. He dried his hand off on a towel and made his way back into my room.

"All ready for you" 

I looked into the bathroom and slowly stood from the bed and made my way inside. I pushed the door shut behind me and took a moment to gaze around the small bathroom. It was my bathroom filled with all my things but it didn't feel like mine anymore. Everything just felt off. I tried to shake the feeling away as I stripped out of my clothes and tossed them in the hamper. The coldness of the tiles under my feet made me shiver and a feeling of emptiness took over. Why couldn't I just feel normal again.

******************

Chase

"Lex.....Lex baby is everything okay in there?" I called softly through the bathroom door. I had heard her sobbing through the sound of the shower running and I didn't know what to do. Did I run in there and risk crossing a line that she wasn't ready for or did I stay out here and leave her alone. Who am I kidding, I could never leave her alone. Especially not when I knew she was in pain.