The connection - New beginnings

Chapter eleven - The way you make me feel

Chase

I was lying on my bed playing everything over and over in my mind. She was back. Seeing her at the creek yesterday, talking to her again, holding her in my arms. It just made me realise how much I loved her, how much I wanted her back in my life. I didn't care that she'd left, that she'd moved on. I'd take her back in a heartbeat if she'd have me. 

That was the problem though. She didn't want me, or at least she wouldn't let herself want me. If felt the familiar pull towards her and I knew she'd felt it too. That passion and desire towards each other. It had taken all of my strength to just hold her in my arms and not so much as kiss her. It was the happiest I'd felt in a long time, just holding her. I closed my eyes and imagined the moment again. Her long brown hair still had that same sweet strawberry smell to it, her big brown doe eyes as they looked at me were full of sorrow. I wanted to take away her pain but I knew she wouldn't let me. My mind flashed to a memory of us together at her house, how she'd shown me for the first time what she wanted me to do to her. God she was so innocent back then. I felt myself grow hard just thinking about her. The touch of her skin, the wetness between her legs as I devoured her. She pulled at my hair willing me in further. I loved it when she did that and I know she did too. I looked up at her and held her gaze, her brown eyes full of want for me as she lay back on her bed and pushed me between her legs.

No one will make you feel as good as I do Lex

Her gaze suddenly faltered as she studied my face. I glanced around the room. Something was off. This wasn't my memory. I spied the boxes in the corner of her room. Shit was she pulling me into a dream or something. Dream or not I didn't care, in this moment she wanted me as much as I wanted her. 

I'm always here baby, now let go for me.

I purred at her as I felt her body begin to shake beneath me. I pressed my mouth firmly around her engorged clit until the sound of her falling apart in ecstasy filled my mind.

Fuck that was hot. I opened my eyes and looked around my room. Yep I was back to reality. I'm pretty sure she'd just pulled me into her mind just then. 

I sat bolt upright and looked at my ridiculous hard on. God I needed a cold shower 

********

"Bro you need to stop torturing yourself and move on. She'd moved on" an exasperated Nate pleaded as we sat in the coffee shop. I took another sip of my coffee whilst mulling over what he said. I'd just come clean about seeing Alex at the creek and it was clear he did not approve.

"Nate I can't, believe me I've tried but I can't get her out of my head...and I think she feels the same" I keep my eyes on him as I finish talking. I'd made a promise to myself a long time ago that I wouldn't lie to him anymore. He'd really been there for me with all the drama over Alex and I know it was hard on him to. We'd made a pact to be honest about things when it came to her. Even if it would be something the other wouldn't particularly like.

"And what do you mean by that?" He questioned, not taking his eyes of mine.

"She kind of pulled me into one of her dreams yesterday" admitted feeling slightly embarrassed.

"Shit" he exclaimed as he sat back in his chair. "I don't know what to say Chase I don't. But do you think maybe it was just the shock of seeing each other again after so long. All these left over feelings are pretty hard to ignore" 

He didn't quite meet my eye as he said that last bit. Had I missed something here. "Are we talking about me or you?" I asked as I took another swig of my coffee.

He let out a small sigh "this is actually why I asked to meet you today. I know we said we'd be honest with each other about all things Alex related" he hesitated 

"And..." I encouraged him to continue

"She was at Jules's party this weekend, we kind of had a moment but then she left" he mumbled

"Why do I feel like that's not the whole story" I raised my brow at him.

"The next day, I was on a coffee run and I bumped into her here of all places. Chase I don't know what came over me but I kissed her. I didn't mean to and I regretted it straight away. It's just I hadn't seen her for so long and then all these feelings came rushing back out of nowhere" 

He looked torn. I could tell it was eating him up.

"Are you gonna tell Jules?" I asked knowing full well he probably already had.

"I told her as soon as I got back. She could tell something was off. Alex doesn't know I told her, Jules wanted to keep it quiet. She doesn't want everyone knowing her boyfriend kissed another girl" 

I watched as he played with the sugar packets on the table, making a little tower out of them as a distraction.

"Do you still love her" I asked, again already knowing the answer.

"Yes" he answered flatly "but not like I used to. I love Jules. She's the one I want but I think part of me will always love Alex" 

I understood that. At least the second part. I could never see myself loving anyone else but I most definitely could see myself always being in love with Alex.

"I love her Nate. More than anything, I can't even think about being with someone else" I whispered.

"I'm beginning to see that" 

Just then the bell of the door pulled my attention, both of us looked over at the four figures who has just entered. Natalie, Lucas, Alex and who I can only assume is Zac.

Fuck.