History - Bucky Barnes

Redemption

~ Vivian
It's been a week since Steve was able to convince Bucky not to run. He was detained for a couple days but he made an agreement with the American government and Wakandan.

They agreed that if he stayed in wakanda in cryo freeze until they can figure out how to get rid of the stuff hydra put In his head.

They were able to keep this private and out of the news.

I haven't seen him since. He doesn't remember me. I don't want to push him to. He will when his mind is ready.

Don't get me wrong I am absolutely devastated. I haven't left my room. T'challa comes in once a day to see me so I have some human interaction.

Shuri does as well of course. Asking random questions.

The other day she asked why I never moved on from Bucky. As if my only options weren't manwhore Howard Stark and his trusty assistant Jarvis. Oh uhm may they Rest In Peace!

Don't freak. I said the same thing to Howard in 1954.

While sitting watching mash on the giant tv T'challa had put in my room I get a call.

Tony. Reluctantly I answer.

Tony= bold Vivian = not bold

"Why Tony how considerate of you to take a break from your ass to call me"

"Calm down grandma i just called like last October"

"Tony it's June"

"Yeah anyway, how are you doing with the whole my old ass boyfriend came back and his mind is scrambled"

"Steve told you I presume"

"Mhm just like that too"

"Right. Not well actually uhm...he doesn't remember me"

"Come again"

"Yeah he remembers Steve but not me"

"Ouch"

"Yeah"

"Wanna come to the tower and help with a few inventions after he turns back into a popsicle...get it cause he's old"

"Yes i got it, Tony. I think I might stick around for a while."

"Suit yourself, come visit soon"

"Will do"

He hangs up.

Then I hear a knock on my door. Everyone wants to talk to me today I swear.

"Come in" i yell.

Steve walks in laying across my bed.

"That bad?" I say.

"He's in bad shape, vi"

I just nod. I don't really know what to say.

"Did he meet with that super fancy psychologist"

"Yeah yeah he did. He mentioned not being able to remember you at all and she said it might have been a defensive mechanism."

I shake my head and make a confused face.

"I don't understand" i say.

"She thinks that you may have been too important to him. His brain blocked you out so they couldn't use you against him."

"Oh okay" i say bringing my knees to my chest.

"They're freezing him tonight. If you want to be there."

I think for a moment. Seeing him and knowing he doesn't know me is painful but i should suck it up and be there for him.

"Okay".

~ 3 hours later ~

"You sure about this" Steve says.

"I can't trust me own mind" Bucky says softly.

Ouch. My heart breaks for him. The man I love has lost himself.

"Going back under until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head is the best thing. For everybody. I'm just glad the government understood that." Bucky says.

Steve looks at me.

"Vivian can be quite persuasive."

"You convinced them" he says.

I laugh "well you kind of have a good word in with the president when you save him from an alien invasion"

Steve looks at me confused. "You we're fighting with us in 2012"

"Duh how do you think you guys won"

"But you still didn't know he was alive until recently" Bucky says.

"Fury is a smug son of a bitch, okay? He kept me on the other side of the city and I don't exactly have wifi where I was living"

"Right" Bucky says still confused.

"We're ready" one of the scientists say.

Bucky stands up and gets in the chamber but before it closes I ask him a question.

"I know from experience that your brain can be active in that state. Would you mind if I came to talk to you, maybe it'd help you remember"

He smiles at me. God that smile.

"I'd love that".

My eyes start to water and I return his smile. The chamber closes and within seconds. They turn it on.

I just stare at it. Wishing and hoping that all of this is just a bad dream. That none of this is happening. That we're back home in Brooklyn.

But that'd be too easy. I'm coming to the conclusion that in my over extended life I will never find peace. I will never settle down and truly be happy.

Even if he remembers me what's next? Who else will I lose?

"You okay" Steve says walking up to me.

I wipe away my tears and straighten my back.

"I'm fine" i say before running out of the room.

~