That was the last conversation I had with Steve. If I had known it would be the last I would've said more. I would've told him I loved him, I would've told him to be careful, I would've fought for him to stay knowing he wouldn't.
Once again I'm lef...
~ Vivian I wake up to the sun in my eyes. I sit taking a look around deciding to shower and go see Bucky. I'll eat breakfast with him and head to the gym afterward to train with T'challa.
I get in the shower taking my time. Once I'm out I brush my hair and get dressed.
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Once I'm dressed I make my way down occasionally saying hi to the people passing by.
I love the people here. They work together as one and are so lovely. Bucky would've loved this place if he wasn't so focused on remembering himself.
I punch the pin into the keypad by where they keep Bucky and walk in.
I see the back of the machine and start walking to the other side.
"Hey stranger I'm ba-"
He's not here. It's empty.
I run out of the room breathing heavy panicking.
I open up the door to Shuri's lab and see her working on something.
"Where is he" i say.
"Okoye and T'challa are with him now"
"Why did no one tell me they were walking him up" i yell.
She takes a step back.
"They figured they should wait until he's himself again"
I bring a hand to my head grit my teeth.
"Why does everyone think that they know what's best for me! I should've been there! God damn it. Everyone needs to stop making decisions for me!" I yell again.
I feel my eyes burning usually meaning they're glowing purple.
She drops her head and shoulders. She's shaking in fear. For the first time in a while I'm looking at her for what she is. A child. She's young despite how smart she is. This isn't her fault, it's not her problem.
I shouldn't be taking it out on her.
I can't believe I scared her.
I relax my hands. I was squeezing them so tight I broke skin with my nails.
"I- I'm sorry, Shuri. I shouldn't have yelled at you" i say softly.
"It's fine" she says going back to her work.
"I-" i start to say putting a hand on her shoulder but she moves away from me.
"I'll leave you be" i say before walking out of the room.
I walk back into my room slamming my door when I do.
"That bad" I hear someone say from behind me.
I grab my knife off the end table and throw it that way.
"Woah you could've taken my head off! Be careful!" Steve says.
"What the hell are you doing here" i ask.
"My best friends melting, why wouldn't I be?"
I scoff. "They called you but not me?"
"T'challa thought it was best sin-"
"Everyone always thinks they know what's best for me! I lived alone for 70 years and fury kept you from me, hydra kept me frozen and locked away against my will, and now even my own boyfriend is being taken from me, or is it the other way around I'm not sure!" I say frustrated.
"Vi"
"I'm going to the gym" i say walking out and practically run there.
Once I get there I start by punching a punching bag.
It's supposed to be unbreakable because it uses your punches to remain sturdy.
Apparently I got a faulty one because after three punches it goes flying.
"Woah there!" King T'chaka says after the punching bag falls right next to him.
"Your majesty I'm so sorry"
"No, I should've knocked knowing the room was in use. I just wanted to check on you." He says taking a seat next to me.
"I'm fine" i say.
"Why are you lying" he says.
I take a deep breath thinking about what to say next.
"I lived a life of running from people, always staying hidden, looking over my shoulder, and being alone. Growing up i had Steve and Bucky to look out for me but come on, who really looked out for who? I was independent. I made my own decisions and now everyone is acting like I'm a child that can't handle anything"
He nods and says "and?"
"For 70 years i was alone. I stared at the same walls, the same tree's, and wishing for the same thing. I wanted him back. Somehow, he is and he doesn't remember me. He has all these memories of Steve and nothing of me. I spent hundreds of days telling him about us hoping that he'll come back to me and it's like everyone is keeping him from me."
"Did you ever stop to think that maybe my son was protecting you"
"What"
"T'challa is a great young man. He thinks about what needs to be done not just in the moment but in the time coming. He knew that if James didn't remember you, you'd be heartbroken just like you were last time. James is a broken man, Vivian. You were his everything once and he was so devastated he blocked you out. So far down it might take time"
"I've had 70 years of time" i say with my eyes starting to water.
"And he's had 70 years of being in and out of consciousness and brain washing. Give it time child and stop trying to force it. You're only hurting yourself."
I look at him and smile.
"You really are wise. Except for the child thing, I'm older than you"
"Oh what I would do to look that young" he says laughing.
