Falling For You

Honestly?:Part 4

I can't believe him. I can't believe it! How? After 4 years do you just do that! No there is no way Alex ever loved her. He had to have been cheating for a long time. FOUR YEARS HE KEPT HER!! She deserves so much better.

"Honestly I love him, you know that. We've been friends forever but you, you are my best friend. I can't believe he would do this! I can't believe anyone would ever do that. Maybe if we were 14 but seriously!! He's a fricken adult and he's going around all junior high?!? Rosie I love you but please don't ever go back to him." I said knowing that he probably wasn't coming back.

At the mall too, ew. How juvenile is that!

We spent the rest of the night crying in her bed watching Gossip Girl on Netflix. We're at the episode where Dan and Serena got stuck in the elevator during the city wide power outage. I look over at Rosie, her eyes completely red and puffy. She hasn't stopped crying for hours!! At least we don't have to go anywhere for a week. I couldn't believe this! I still can't understand it! I've never met someone who would blow off a four year relationship just like that. I mean come on you'd have to be pretty stupid to think he was really thinking of Rosie as a girlfriend. Probably just used for her benefits while going after his real interests. She deserves so much better.

"I wish Chuck was real. I mean really before this part of the show he is a dick, sorry I mean an Alex. But like he's so caring for Blair! Like you can see how in love with her he is. Why can't I find that? Why couldn't Alex be that for me. It really felt like that you know? See the way Chuck's looking at Blair, that's how I thought Alex looked at me. I can't believe I went to prom thinking everything was fine. We had such an amazing time. He was my forever." Rosie cried into her tissues.

It's true even I thought Alex looked at her like that. I've even talked to Alex about Rosie. He was defiantly sounding like someone in love. I can't believe this, there is no way there isn't more to this story. Maybe she saw it wrong. Maybe it wasn't really a make out session at the mall, maybe the girl brought herself onto him. I mean I know it seems innocent to think that but I mean it does happen. Like when Chuck went into Blair's room to have sex with her and faked an accent to sound like Marcus. Honestly I can't believe this.

"Hey I'm going to go outside for a second. Just want to call Cody, let him know I got back and settled in." I lied to Rosie. Really I want, no need, to call Alex. I need to know his side of the story.

"Okay hurry back I want to skip to season 5. That's my favourite season." Rosie replied.

"Okay" I said getting off the bed and leaving out the door.

I run outside, being July it wasn't too bad out. Not too hot, not too chilly. Perfect.

I dialed Alex's number. I swear if he doesn't pick up I'll just drive over to his house and make him talk to me. I won't stop until I get every inch of this story.

"Hello? Sara, what do you want I'm busy." Alex said sounding annoying. Fuck him.

"Yeah um no I know you and you are never busy." I said.

It's true he never once has said he was busy when I called. I mean he could be but isn't it a bit strange that the day he breaks up with my room mate he's busy? Yeah...fishy.

"Look I get it you want to know what happened between me and Rosie, but can't you just ask her." He asked.

"Well you see I did and she said she caught you sucking another girl's face AT THE MALL!" I said. "Isn't that a little young for you. Really, the mall. Whatever I don't care about that, what I really want to know is why after 4 years of dedication and a prom did you decide to do this. Were you always cheating? Did you just drag her along for the ride incase you couldn't find anyone better. Because like in all honesty you won't. Alex there is no girl in the world that would love and respect you like Rosie would. She's in bed right now balling her eyes out watching Gossip Girl. We're almost at season 3! Do you know how insane that is?!?! And she just said when I get back to the room she wants to skip to season 5! Do you know why? Well i'm going to tell you it's because that's the season where Chuck and Blair are together, where they are so inlove you have to rip them apart to get them to stop being so in love. That was her with you Alex. You were her Chuck Bass." I said. He probably doesn't even know who Chuck is, he never sat down to watch it with us.

"Yeah well I'll take your word that he's a good guy. But this situation doesn't really concern you. Like at all. Can't you just leave us alone?" He said getting quiet.

"Alex you both are my best friends I want you two to be happy but I want to know what happened on both ends so I can fully understand the situation. It isn't fair that I'm taking sides with Rosie without hearing you out. Don't you think I deserve to understand this. I know I'm not apart of the relationship but when my room mate and best friend are involved I need to know." I said.

Silence

Silence

Breathing

"Look...it's true I did kiss that girl. All the things Rosie is saying about the mall is true. But what you might not believe is that I still love her. I just, I can't be with her. I'm not meant for her. I don't know how to be a good boyfriend to her. We're so different. I kept the relationship going because of that science thing you're always talking about how it takes 4 years to get to know someone. I thought by now I would be able to figure out how to be a good boyfriend for her. But I can't. I don't know what she wants. We fight all the time. Well we did. And I just, I want her to be happy. There's no way she could be happy with me. It's best that we went our separate ways. I shouldn't have kissed that girl at the mall. That, I know was stupid. I should've broken up with her in a better way. In a personal way, where I could explain myself. I just panicked when I saw her. I-I don't know..." He said, I could hear his sniffling. He was crying, or at least tearing up.

"That isn't fair Alex! You can't blame this on her! If you wanted to know you should've asked her! You can't go through a four year relationship like you guys did and not trust each other enough to ask questions like that. Geeze Alex you really owe Rosie an explanation. Like right now." I said getting pissed.

"...you're right. But now, it's late and plus you said she was busy watching Gossip Girl. Even when we were together I wasn't allowed to interrupt her. Would she even see me." Alex asked sacredly.

"Alex all I can say is if you don't try, you won't know." I said hanging up the phone.