"Lie to me," he whispered. His face was so close and I couldn't breathe.
"Lie to me and tell me you don't want me as much as I want you. Lie to me and tell me you don't want to press those pretty lips of yours to mine right now. Lie to me and tell m...
「 twenty-four ♥ you complete me 」 tw: self-harm, blood, knives
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Dammit, why wasn't she answering?
I threw the phone on my bed and ran a hand through my hair, down my face. Then I grabbed my keys and headed to my car.
I wasn't going to leave her, not again. Not like this.
When I arrived at her house, all her lights were off. My heart was beating so hard that I thought it would pound right out of my chest.
"Alaska?" I called up once I got in. She had given me a key once and had never asked for it back.
But there was no answer, no noise. Was she even here?
I skipped the stairs two at a time and quickly went into her room. "Alaska-"
Then I saw her.
Time stopped.
Her hand was wrapped around a kitchen knife. Blood pooled around her chest and I forgot how to swallow.
I rushed to her side immediately, pulling the knife away. I dialed 911 as I held her body to mine.
"This is 911, what's your emergency?"
I found her body, is what I should have said. She stabbed herself. But as I felt her pulse, all sane thoughts left me. "She's barely breathing," is what I whispered instead.
"Who?" the receiver said. "Give me the address, please."
I told them her address, staring at Alaska's closed eyes.
"We'll be there shortly. Don't move, sir."
I nodded, even though they couldn't see.
I hated this. This feeling of hopelessness. How you wish everything could stop and you could take everything back. To start over.
Guilt overtook me. It folded in on itself, weighing me down with weights so heavy that they suffocated me. I couldn't breathe.
The world was breaking apart and stitching itself back together again, until it began to crumple and chip and the pieces didn't fit anymore.
"Alaska, Alaska, please." Tears wet my face without permission and my limbs went weak with guilt.
All my mind could think was your fault. It was your fault, your fault, your fault. If you hadn't forced a relationship it on her, if you hadn't won all those fucking competitions.
It was scary how much I was willing to sacrifice just for her to be happy.
I let my face rest on her cheek and leaned down to kiss her forehead. Her body was still warm, despite the blood dripping from her chest.
