"Lie to me," he whispered. His face was so close and I couldn't breathe.
"Lie to me and tell me you don't want me as much as I want you. Lie to me and tell me you don't want to press those pretty lips of yours to mine right now. Lie to me and tell m...
「 thirty-two ♥the universe in your hand」 warning: mature scenes
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Love was just procrastinated grief.
That was what I told myself for years - that loving someone wasn't worth it. At the end of the day, they'd leave you, whether it was in death or not.
Love wasn't real. It was a fairy-tale for children. Something their parents would whisper in their child's ear as a bedtime story. Sweet lies on their tongue.
And I'd known this from the start. My father left my mother before I was even born. I never knew what love could be like between two people, because I grew up practically alone.
After my mother died, my love left me shattered.
So, understandably, I never believed in the entity they titled "love".
Because love blinds. It ensnares, it lies. It imprisons those who believe they're under the false name, tying them to responsibilities they never bargained for.
Love ruins you, piece my piece, limb by limb, until you have nothing left to breathe for. Until the world goes black around you and no one is there to get you through it.
Everything reminds you of it. Everywhere you walk, everything you see, brings you back to the word, the feeling of betrayal. The worst memories are always the most persistent.
Love blinds you in a facade of hope. Of feeling. Of false emotion.
And when my heart skipped a beat near Rowen, when my fingers tingled when I touched him, and the urge to press my lips to his intensified, I told myself that I was lying. Those feelings weren't real.
But now, with him in front of me, kissing my face and telling me how he loved me... how could it not be real?
And even if it was a lie, I think I'd choose to live it.
"I think..." I took a breath. "I think I'm in love with you, too."
My heart stopped and I watched as he stopped breathing.
"I don't even know when I realized." I looked down in my hands, almost embarrassed. "Maybe after I went to the hospital and saw you there with me. No one had done that before - no one had cared. But you did. Even though I pushed you away, even though I hated you, you were there for me."
I bit on the inside of my cheek. "And everything about you is perfect. How could someone not love you? And when you touch me... you feel like paradise. Like heaven. You are my heaven, Rowen."
"Alaska..."
"I've never trusted anyone more than I trust you. You make me feel like I'm a person, rather than a small girl who suffers in silence. You make me feel heard, which is something that no one else can say."
