𝕊𝕒𝕕 𝕤𝕠𝕝𝕓𝕪 𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕤 ♡

Rest

It's finally the day he's been waiting for. It's hard, but he can rest now.
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Sam sat heavily over a buildings roof.

His legs draped over the ledge with exhaustion. He blinked as the wind caressed his face with a gentleness that felt foreign, as if comforting him.

He was resting his hands on the railing above his head. His sleeves pulled back far enough for the bandages to touch the cold metal. The city was basked in darkness, with the ever so slightly working street lamp illuminating the roads.

He wasn't exactly in a good neighborhood, but he had enough trouble finding a tall, easily accessible building in the first place. one that nobody would accidentally stumble upon. He wasn't picky when it came to much, dying would be the same right?

His eyes were closed, yet tears still pooled on his lashes. His breathing wasn't labored like he imagined it would be. Only the smooth inhale and exhale of faint breathing as he prepared to rest, because he truly did never get enough of it.

His mind was oddly quiet in the silence, and even if he wanted to, he probably couldn't form any worthwhile thoughts. While he sat, gaze forward and looking out upon the city, he briefly wondered if anyone at home would miss him. If the people he loved were somehow searching for him as he sat.

He knew he had those plans with Colby tomorrow. A date if you will. They were supposed to go out shopping and look for new camera equipment. Sams heart clenched at the thought.

He knew when morning came, and Elton would rightfully knock on his door claiming breakfast was ready, there would be nothing left in his room but a void. But how can he feel sorry for them? How can he even try to understand what there gonna feel when nobody ever knew how hard it was surviving for him up until now.

How each day he had to crawl on his hands and knees just to make it half as far as they did.

He wanted so badly to be angry. To blame his own misery upon them. Scream until his breathing came out horse and wet. But he knew he couldn't. It wouldn't be fair.

They gave Sam a life he could only dream of having. A nice roof over his head, amazing memories, love that sometimes overwhelmed him to his core, and yet-

It was never enough.

His soul was always tired. Always asking when they could give up and rest. When the days would seize to continue on a loop.

He pretended to be fine for so long just the thought of slapping on another smile made his body shuck with another airy sob.

This was it. This was goodbye. He couldn't bare to hold on anymore. With drawn out movements sam slowly fished out the note from the backpack laying next to him. Fingers cold as he ran them over the folded edges.

His note was concise, it didn't reveal much, just a farewell and an apology. A promise to meet them all again in another life. Slowly He placed it under his shoes, which have been sitting behind him for a while now, almost like slight encouragement.

Sam didn't really feel anything as he stood, he hasn't been able to for a long time, but as he gazed below to the narrow alleyway, where he will be found, he thought of relief-

relief that he could finally forget everything.

The moon was ready to set and to let the sun take over. He powered on his phone, sending his location to Colby, to make everything less of a burden to the others. He knew his friend was probably asleep at this hour. Tucked into bed fully expecting Sam to be right next door.

He fought off those thoughts as he powered off his phone. He hugged himself as he stood tiredly to his feet. Looking out at the city line once more before slowly turning around. His arms letting go of the railing in favour of being slightly spread apart, almost reminiscent of an angels wings.

He let himself tip over the edge slowly, and found in the end he didn't regret it at all.

It all was so peaceful.

He closed his eyes, having gotten enough of the night sky just as his head hit the concrete. He didn't feel anything, but it wasn't new.

He drifted away just as the sun stated to rise, a face upon millions lost, never to see another day again.