𝕊𝕒𝕕 𝕤𝕠𝕝𝕓𝕪 𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕤 ♡

Emotionally unavailable

Mentions of emotional numbness

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Glimpsing out the window of there new home colby watched longingly as his friends laughed and splashed around in the pool. The view making a small smile tug at the corners of his lips, the site of there fresh skin tans making him jealous slightly. The glow of there smiles and energy mocking his sickly envious one. Standing just behind the currents so nobody could see his day dreaming glint Colby situated his weight from foot to foot subconsciously.
He wondered how the water would feel on his own skin in that moment, how the sun would feel drooling over his pale body.

The whole idea of moving to Hawaii was for these exact reasons partly. To get away from the stuffy life that was LA. To live life to the fullest without being surrounded by millions of others trying to copy every foot step they made. Hawaii was going to be there new start, only it wasn't.

Colby didn't know what had gotten into him. At the last house they all shared together he would of been right there experiencing these fun times with his friends. Not second guessing to belly flop into the pool or to take his shirt off at a party. He was confident. Filled with emotion. He would do anything for a good time, and now, it was rare to catch him outside the walls of his room. It was strange to see this side of Colby for the roommates. After leaving the original trap house everyone moved out to live on there own for about a year or so, in that time period everyone assumed everyone was fine. They always spoke to one another, spent the night at each other's houses a few times a month, shoot they even had pizza Friday's at Sams place every week.

Everyone thought things would be fine whenever jake brought up the idea of moving into another house all together, and for a short while colby was too just as excited as his friends were. Until he wasn't... Colby couldn't quite pin point what caused his sudden mood swings but let's just say it happened very suddenly. The first time it happened was when he was on his way to Corey's house. Apparently everyone was meeting there for a YouTube video. Colby of corse leaped at the opportunity to see his best buds, but after driving half way there, the windows rolled down and the radio blasting some old RNB hip pop song Colby couldn't help the lack of appeal that tinged his bones. It was almost like someone had sucked all of joy and excitement right from him. Not feeling any desire to continue on his journey to his friends house Colby simply turned the car around with a small "Sorry I can't make it" text shooting his roommates way. Of corse they were all supportive, assuming there friend was just too tried or had to much to drink that night. But after the fourth time of there friends bail, colbys half heartedly excuses weren't fooling anybody this round.

Noticing the way there friend suddenly lost interest in everything that made him him it was safe to say everyone was a little concerned.

"I'm fine bro. You guys go have fun" throwing the catch fraze around so unsoulfully colby would watch as his friends would defeatingly go hang out without him. This happened frequently actually, so frequently that everybody stopped begging for there friend to come at all. It was like he wasn't even apart of the group anymore.

Slowly five turned to four and after the leaving of Aaron it left only Sam, corey, and Jake to hang out. The missing pieces to there hearts making hanging out at all feel wrong. They hated not having everybody together like they used to. So when it finally came time to move into the new house everyone was pleasantly surprised to see colby chucking his belongings into the moving truck. His once bubbly personality little to non. It was almost like he was dead, emotionally unavailable at all times of the week. It scared everyone, Sam especially but they trusted there friends excuse.

"I'm just tired brotha" soon his excuse for not wanting to leave his room became the only thing he said to anyone ever. It was almost like he wasn't even living in the new house. Like he was subconsciously somewhere else. At first sam thought Colby might be going threw a fit of depression, it wouldn't be the first time and it wouldn't be that surprising to be honest, but after weeks of watching his friend. Slowly talking to him more and more threw the cracks of his door Sam was left dumbfounded in the end. Colby didn't show any signs for depression, well except for the ones we already mentioned. He wasn't sad, wasn't being self critical, wasn't not eating. He seemed completely fine but not at the same time. Like he had some how turned off his humanity while he was living alone.

He always looked numb, like he didn't have any emotional status. Everything kinda faded away but nobody mentioned it after Colby refused to talk to them about his sudden mood drops. Everyone kinda just moved on in a sense. Nobody knew how to help or what was happening which made Colby some what feel alone.

He didn't know why he was completely stripped from his emotions but after watching his friends today. There huge smiles and bubbling laughs, the redness that hued there faces from laughing so hard at each other it made something deep down within him sting. He wanted to live life how he used to. Smile, cry, feel anything. But after watching his friends live his dream life from outside a glass window his eyes started to strain with hurt. So without anyone noticing he quickly made it back into his room we're he sat in bed contemplating if what he had mange to hide away for so long was actually what he needed the most.

Real emotion.