𝕊𝕒𝕕 𝕤𝕠𝕝𝕓𝕪 𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕤 ♡

True happiness

Suicide warning
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It all happened so fast, one second he was smiling in the faces of his family, waving them goodbye and the next he was fully clothed, completely unraveled and broken in his bathtub. His hands trembling as blood trickled out of his wrist like a leaking water pipe, his blood coxing the clear liquid with its red taint. The feeling of finally being able to breath hitting the younger like a brick.

He remembers waking up today, the pills he's been prescribed to 'heal' his depression unopened. He remembers walking down stairs after hours of forcing himself to get up. To find motivation to live. He remembers slapping on the fakest of fakest smiles and kissing his mother's cheek like Suicide wasn't rushing threw his brain at that moment. He could still faintly hear the joy in her voice when she told him how proud she was. How 'her baby boy was getting so much better'

He smiled at that. And instead of crushing her mood with his deviating truth he nodded with a soft "thank you" knowing today was the day. His family would be leaving for his grandmothers around one. That's when he would do it. So instead of pretending to be doing homework in his room like he always did, the excuse made just so he could sulk in his mind and thoughts he decided to stay down stairs today.
"I don't have homework " his family was beyond happy. They loved seeing the smile on his face, and not a frown. They were pleased to see that the medication the hospital had given him was working. Only it wasn't.

Colby stoped talking it. He stoped wanting to get better after Sam had broken up with him. He can still remember the look on his face when he said it. Completely and utterly fine. He was fine, while he was broken. Covered in tears and shattered beyond relief. He had taken so many pills that night he truly believed he was done for. But the great gods above deemed him wrong when he was awaken by his mother, her believing her son was just napping in his bed. Completely unaware of the dry tear stains covering his face. "Dinners ready" she piped and without thinking colby let out the most heart recked sob. The action making his mothers smile fall. She clung to his side the rest of the night, listing to the sound of her boys voice as he told her everything.

He told her how Sam had broken up with him for being to "sad" and how he left him to find a ride home after he ditched him somewhere in town. Deciding not to tell his about his recent suicide attempt Colby waited for his mother's helpful reply but instead he was greeted with "did you take a pill today?" Completely tossing away her sons feelings the woman looked Colby in the eyes with confusion. She didn't get teen love. She always known Sam wasn't anything colby should get attached to.

"W-what?" Confused he pushed her away. The dullness of his eyes making her shake her head. "I said did you take your pills today?" Wanting to scream or pull his hair out colby only pointed towards his door. "Get out" voice cracking it took everything in him not to break down even more. His mom clearly didn't care about him if she had to ask that. All because he was sad didn't mean he didn't take his pills. He was dumped for goodness sake. 

"Colby I-"

"Get out!"

Leaving the room with a faint "I'm sorry" Colby waited for his door to be completely shut before he screamed so loud it almost made his heart stop. The pain that was costing threw his chest and head was all to much. He felt useless and disregarded. Like nobody would care if he would just end it. So after that day he stoped taking his pills. He stopped trying to get better and he stoped thinking about Sam. No matter how hard it was not to.

And that's how it left him here. Bleeding out in his parents bathtub completely ravishing in the feeling of death. He knew this day would come, the day when all his pain would end. His Parents knew it to, they just believed the pills would be the reason for it not a blade.

So as he took his final faint breaths Colby smiled genuinely for the first time in years, and as his eyes closed and his heart flattened he could almost feel what true happiness felt like.