𝕊𝕒𝕕 𝕤𝕠𝕝𝕓𝕪 𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕤 ♡

Truth betold

Mentions of self harm
—————————✢————————-

The blondes eyes flickered curiously over his computer screen as he observed and absorbed all the information he could gather before the sinful events tonight.

His hands were slick with the slight glimmer of sweat, his heart pounding as his wobbly eyes read each line carefully. He could feel the thickness in the air as he read the screen flashing with warning signs. Today was Friday the thirteenth, the scariest day of the year for the small blondie. Each year when the clock strikes one him and all of his friends gather around in caves just south from there home. They all play the Ouija board asking forsaken questions, each year a new target.

Last year everyone gathered around to ask questions about Colby, the last before that was Aaron and before that Corey. This year was his turn. Everything the roommates wanted to know about him would be exposed by the spirits, some things Sam didn't even know himself.

Trying his best to find a loophole out of going Sam found no mercy as everyone just laughed at his scariness. The night wasn't that scary for the others, but the others didn't have a nagging secret they were holding. Sams secret has been ongoing for years, he's tried to get help, tried to stop, tried to cure it but it never seemed to go away. And now it was on him forever.

Scars.

The scars put there by his own hands are what scared the blonde the most about hanging out with his friends, what if they saw them? Asked him about them? Made fun of him? Sams tried everything to get rid of them, lotions, scrubs, ointments. But nothings worked. His arms were scarred and traced with sleek lines making him a human cutting board. He's been one for years now. Trying his best to act fine and like everything's ok only made the sadness within himself heighten.

More scars have added up and now, he looked almost unrecognizable without his signature hoodie and sweat pants on. Letting tears fall from his lids Sam wiped them away quickly, he shouldn't pitty himself. He did this to himself after all, ruined God's beautiful creation by placing Marks of self hatred apon his skin. There was no one to blame but himself, yet, he couldn't stop. The blade controlled Sams life. It told him when to cut where to cut and how deep to. His mind was constantly fighting for dominance over the sleek weapon but he almost always lost. He wasn't strong enough to ward off his demons.

Herring a familiar knock on his door Sam jumped before Colby poked his small head in, a evil grin on his face. "Ready to get exposed" laughing he wiggled his brows together making Sam let out a half hearted chuckle, his smile not reaching his lids. "Ready as I'll ever be" Turning off his computer Sam sighed softy as Colby cheered. His hands clapping together. "Great! We're leaving in ten so be ready, oh and make sure you don't forgot the board"

Giving a stiff nod Sam tried his best not to let his tears slip, his hands shaking softy as Colby scanned his face for any traces of fear. "Alrighty then, I'll be downstairs with the others." Leaving the room Colby shut sams door softy making him breath out in relief. Not knowing how he was going to survive tonight Sam tore on his locks, his teeth clenching as hateful thoughts swarmed his insides. He hated lying to his friends, pretending like he was ok. When his friends asks if he's ok he wants to tell them how his depression is like a evil deity, a jealous god, a thirsty shadow that rings his joy like a dishrag and makes juice out of his smile. He wants to say he wears his sadness like a clean shirt, but his washing machines been broken for months.

He's tired of picking and carving at his face like a pumpkin, molding and sculpting it into something acceptable. He wants to feel loved and wanted, but his thoughts deny him the pleasure. Getting out of bed for him is like a magic trick and he's probably the worst magician he knows. His sadness keeps his swelled in a thick rubber, his concaving walls holding him inside like a ballon he's destined to pop and break.

Beating torn from his thoughts by a knock on his door Sams eyes were gazed over with pure fear, his roommates couldn't know the truth, they would hate him, make him feel like more of a disappointment.

He'd be completely outed. His truth would be told.