𝕊𝕒𝕕 𝕤𝕠𝕝𝕓𝕪 𝕠𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕤 ♡

To the bone

I've written this same oneshot thousands of different times but I do believe that it is something to bring awareness to. Being 'skinny' isn't always healthy, loving yourself is. If you ever struggle with anything I write about please feel free to dm me. :)

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His words hit spots in Sams heart he didn't know words could hit. His words dug deep under his skin and rippled threw his veins, coursing his heart, infecting his brain. He stood there in front of the man he used to call friend as more vile spits of truth spit from his perfectly shaped lips. With each word, a new thing to fix about himself forming in Sams mind. He never thought he was perfect, buts colbys muttered truth of words made Sam realize that he was nothing close to being perfect. Nothing close to being normal, nothing close to being human. He let each word sink in and each insult carve burning burrowing holes into his brain. He felt hideous in his own skin, like everyone was internally making fun of him as he walked passed. Having Sam trapped in the schools bathroom Colby snickered at Sams body, his hands tugging on his skin as more lies escaped his mouth.

"You are truly disgusting" closing his lids Sam took in a deep breath and nodded. He knew Colby was just trying to help him realize the truth about himself. He knew Colby wouldn't say anything that wasn't true or to hurt him purposely, so instead of sticking up for himself his lips formed into a small line. "I know" mumbling Sam could feel the stinging feeling of tears entering his eyes as he opened them. Colby's face still hard and his grip on him loosing. He felt numb in the moment, like nothing mattered but colbys opinion. He knew it was stupid to want to feel perfect for someone, stupid to want someone's searching opinion but Sam needed it. Colby was just telling him what everyone else was afraid too, and as his best friend he should. Colby was being a good friend, Sam just wasn't being one back.

"Do you?" Questioning, the brunette huffed. "You look god near obese Sam, I mean look at you" pointing towards the merrier just behind him Colby could see Sam hesitantly glance at his reflection, a grimiest look forming upon his face afterwords. "Do you like what you see? Because I don't" letting his tears fall Sam shook his head. He didn't just dislike what he saw, he hated it. "I'm s-sorry" breaking,
the little looked up at Colby in hopes that he would comfort him, but instead he just laughed mockingly. "Sorry? You should be. I don't wanna be friends with a fat fuck, and I bet nobody else does either. I've told you repeatedly how fat you look Sam, but what do you do? You cry. You cry and apologize like that's gonna fix the problem" balling up his fist Colby towered over Sams shaking figure, more and more infuriated spits lacing his voice. "You cry and act like I'm the problem, like I'm the one hurting you! Your the only person hurting you Sam! Not me you" by now sams cheeks and shirt were drenched with salty tears, his soft sobs being muffled by his hand as each word hit him like a punch to the gut. He wanted so desperately to be beautiful in colbys eyes, so desperately to be excepted. And if being skinny was the only way to make that happen then so be it. "I'll try h-harder. I'll loose then weight I p-promise" not wanting to loose the only thing he's got Sam begged for Colby to forgive him, to still be his friend.

And after he felt cherished and high enough Colby rolled his eyes. A stilled "fine" leaving him before he walked out of the bathroom stall Leaving his best friend to rot in all of his glory. And the worse part about it was, he didn't even feel a thing.

-

Looking at the dinner plate set in front of him Sams mouth watered with need. Every sense him and colbys last 'fight' Sam hasn't eaten a thing. He's been nearly surviving off of gum and water for the past week. The only time he does eat being when he thinks he was going to pass out, and even then he only eats a few slices of ham. Nothing less nothing more. Staring at the steaming plate in front of him Sams hands twitched along with his feet. The sound of his stomach growling earring a grumble from him. He wanted oh so desperately to Devoured the food just inches away from him, but he made a promise to colby. He needed to loose the weight, and this was the only way how.

Being snapped from his thoughts by his mother's voice Sam was almost to weak to gaze up at her. The look of concern spreading across her face when she noticed Sams deadly appearance. He looked ghostly, his face pale and his eyes sunken in. His lips looked chapped and grey, his eyes no longer that vibrate baby blue color. Speaking up her soothing voice made Sams mind rush, he knew she was gonna ask him to eat. He knew she was gonna ask why he looked so sick and weak, so as fast as he could he scrambled for an excuse. "Honey, why aren't you eating? You look terrible" piping up Sams father looked at his son too. His eyes widening. "Jesus Sam, you look like you've been starving yourself for months" bubbling up the courage to laugh Sam hummed. "I'm just feeling a little sick lately, it's really effected my appetite. Do you mind?" Gesturing up stairs Sam didn't even receive permission to leave the table before he was up and out of his seat. His baggy clothes feathering over his skin as he made his escape upstairs.

Letting it go his family nodded concerningly. Sams feet padding up the cold stairs and into his bathroom were he locked the door. Standing in front of his merrier the blonde kept his head down as he used the counter top  to stay upright. His hands sweaty and slick. He hadn't looked in the merrier sense his last weigh in. Last time he weighed himself he was a wopping ninety seven pounds. That was three days ago, and hopefully for Sam he lost more. Deciding to step onto the scale once again Sams shaky figure stripped from his clothes, the ribs that protruded from his chest making him smile softly. Wobbly standing on the scale just left of him Sam took in a deep breath before doing so. The numbers that flashed as it weighed making him nervous. Had he gained any weight? Had he not lost enough?

Scared of what Colby might think Sams small smile soon turned wide when the final number flashed. Ninety three pounds. Feeling satisfied with the number Sams heart almost missed a beat. Colby might actually be proud of him, love him. Having the sudden urge to celebrate Sam quickly raced to his room, his trembling hands dialing for colbys number as his grin spread wider. He's never felt so satisfied in his life. Waiting for his lover to pick up Sam practically screamed when he finally answered. A bored "What?" Musing threw the line. "I did it!" Completely exhausted from the quick movements he had just made Sam started to slowly topple over as dizziness washed over him. "Did what?" Sitting up on the other side of the line Colby played with his fingers as he listened to Sam explain what happened.

"I've lost the weight! A-aren't you proud of me?" Breathing heavily Sam listened as the line went silent, and before he could speak again colbys voice was mocking his success. "Oh sweetie" tisking his tounge the elder snickered once again. "It doesn't matter how much weight you loose...you'll always be known as fat in my eyes." Smile completely falling Sam could feel everything in him drop. His insides turning and his heart crumbling. Not knowing what to say the blonde could feel the phone drop from his hands before a small gasp of air left him. And before anyone could realize it he was on the floor, cold, and limp. The emptiness of his stomach making him painfully slip into sleep as colbys concern voice boomed from the speaker. And suddenly he regretted ever mumbling those four words.

"You truly are disgusting"