Breaking Boundaries (unordinary love story)

M I S T Y - Chapter 34: Ain't My Guy

M I S T Y

OK, I was a bit rude to Axel, but I had to break it to him, and fast. I made my move right before math.

"Hey dude," I said in the hallway, "just to make this clear, I'm not interested in you. Like at all. Only as a friend, maybe. But nothing more than that. I'd like you to back off please. I already have enough drama in my life without you adding to it."

He looked slightly hurt. I could see it in his eyes, the disappointment. "But...you gave me a love letter."

"No I didn't, you did," I replied.

"What? No I didn't! I didn't even realize I liked you before you said you liked me."

"Then where's the love letter I supposedly wrote you?"

"Um, in here." He flipped open his binder and leafed through the contents. "I don't know, maybe I lost it. But I had it."

"Maybe you just dreamed it," I answered. "But either way - I have other interests, thanks." With that I was done with the pep-talk.

I took off the necklace Rick gave me and placed it back into the box. The thought of Rick and Rand getting back together was terrifying for me. Before, it was abysmal for me, but now it was abysmal for a different reason. Rick was clearly using me for pleasure and I just wanted to punch him in the gut for that.

I couldn't believe I took the necklace off knowing I loved it so much. Rick chose the perfect one. I was sad beyond words. Maybe we just weren't meant for each other, and fate was giving its warning.

I didn't want Rick to assume I was hurt, but deep down I was. I just acted tough at school, when I was around him. Maybe Max had been right. Maybe my friends had, too. I really didn't know what I saw in that snake.

After school I sulked in my room. I was sitting in my bed, with Sandy and Kendall sitting next to me.

"Why did I even trust him?" I sniffed.

"No trust no nothing," said Sandy. "It takes forever to build and seconds to break."

"Yeah. Maybe I see the good in others too much," I said.

"People like Rick don't have good in them," said Kendall.

"Yeah. There are other fish in the sea," said Sandy. "The ones in my math class are all really nice."

"But I don't know any of them," I said. "I think I'll just shut all the boys out until I feel like talking to them again."

"Just because of Rick?" said Sandy. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"I just mean, I won't get a boyfriend," I said. "I don't care if no one asks me to prom."

"One heartbreak means nothing, Misty," said Kendall, handing me a box of tissues. "Maybe just get over it."

I felt more tears pour, each one carrying a drop of sadness with it, each one tasting bitter. "Easy for you to say."

"Do you feel better now?" said Kendall. "You've been crying for hours."

"I guess."

"I don't want to seem like an unsupportive friend or anything, but..." said Kendall.

"I know," I said. "You don't ship me with Rick." I emphasized every word.

"Precisely," nodded Kendall. "I think he's always been a jerk, so I'm the least bit surprised. Unless...it's for his abs?"

I laughed. "OK, sure."

"You took the necklace off," noticed Sandy.

I nodded. "It was lovely though." I glanced down at my watch. "Look, dad's gonna be home soon, and my family and I are having relatives over. Just some dinner thing. They just flew over from Canada. They have, like, extended winter break or something."

"That's fine," said Sandy. "We can leave."

"Sorry," I said. "Not to rush you guys out. Thanks for being amazing friends."

"No problem, and your relatives are surely lucky," said Kendall.

I chuckled. "Yeah. For sure. So, live long and prosper."

"Bye, Misty."

"Bye!"

"See ya."

~~~

The whole week, I spent my time in darkness. I was heartbroken and hollow at the same time. Just get over it, I told myself. I tried so hard to push the thoughts out of my mind, but they kept coming back to me, tears streaming down my face each time I thought about it. It stabbed at me like daggers, despite my being broken up with him. And it all happened because of a romantic dinner we never had. Prior to that, I'd agreed to be Rick's girlfriend. How ironic. Now it all seemed like an unfulfilled dream. An empty promise. It sucked, falling for someone who wasn't even mine.

I couldn't even look at Rick for the rest of the week. I wanted to hurl every time I did, and my stomach would feel queasy. At least he wasn't with Rand, which made me feel slightly better.

We were still amicable after the split though. Like he would ask to borrow my pen and I'd give it to him. Or he would ask me for help on the classwork and I'd help him. We'd acknowledge each other as well, saying hello and stuff like that. But other than that I think we both mutually knew that we were over each other. At least on the outside.

But still.

With the Winter Wonderland coming up, I was beginning to feel even worse knowing I couldn't go with Rick as planned. I'd have to miss that. And all of my friends were going.

Fortunately for me, Sandy wasn't going to get to go with her crush, Daniel Wilks, either. He'd apparently hooked up with another girl on the last day. Sandy was heartbroken just like me. She was sadder than I'd ever seen her before.

I found her crying after school. "Hey...what's the matter?"

"Daniel Wilks is going to the Winter Wonderland with another girl. I think it's Charlene."

"Charlene Belshe? The big phony from seventh grade? No way. Is that really his taste?" I said.

"Apparently it is," she answered.

"Hey. It's OK," I said. "Let's just forget about boys. Both of us."

"It's hard to believe we miss out."

"I know. But we can still go as friends together if you want, even if there's no guy. Kendall obviously has her date. We can go just for fun."

"OK, sure," she said.

The Winter Wonderland rolled around faster than I expected. Maybe because I was dreading it. But then at the same time I wanted to go to the Winter Wonderland, maybe because Rick would be there too and I could talk to him. Not to forgive him, but to get back on speaking terms again. Maybe we could still work our way back to being with each other. Even if I was mad, I still didn't want to ice Rick completely out of my life.

So while Kendall went off with her crush, Leo, Sandy and I just hung out near the tables under the purple lights.

"This doesn't feel like much," said Sandy, filling her cup of punch from the bowl.

"Yeah," I said. "At least not for us." I went over to the refreshments table and began dispensing lemon and cucumber infused spa water. "Do you know if Rick came?"

"I thought you were over him."

"I wanna find him."

"He's probably in the back. Isn't he always?"

"I don't know," I said. "I'll go check, then."

"Be back though."

"I will," I promised over my shoulder.