Arranged love - jaylor AU

the aftermath

TRIGGER WARNING AFTER SEXUAL ASSAULT 

- lillys pov - 

My whole body hurts and it's hard to open my eyes but eventually I do. Ryan is hanging over me and I get confused for a second but then I remember what happened and I start to cry. 

«Lilly, can you hear me? How do you feel?» Ryan panics and Chloe comes over too. «Everything hurts. He...» I can't even tell them what happened without wanting to throw up. He took my innocence without permission and after drugging me, it's disgusting. I don't understand because I thought he might like me. Sure I knew that he had a reputation of jumping from different girls to another, but I thought he was different with me. At least I expected that he would take no for a no. 

«We need to get you to a hospital Lilly» Chloe says, and I hesitate. I don't want to make a big fuss because this is so embarrassing. I was so stupid to trust him, and so stupid for drinking anything in this house at all. It's obviously him who drugged me at some point so he could take advantage of me. 

«I don't want to go there. they will call my parents» I groan and try to sit up, but it hurts like fuck in my core, I will be sore for a while, that's for damn sure. 

«No, they can't call your parents, that's the law. They can't call without permission» she says and show me her phone, of course the girl googled it. «Getting a rape kit done doesn't immediately mean you have to do something, but it will give you the option. If you shower or change your clothes that will take the evidence with it» sometimes I hate it when she is rational. We have all had drinks, but she is still rational. 

«Fine» I say and wipe my tears. My whole body feels weak and is throbbing but with some help from Ryan I can stand. «Lean on me and I will get you out of it. I'm strong and I will carry you if I have to» he says tenderly, and I nod. 

**

Getting back to the city and to the hospital was a painful nightmare. I feel so dirty and exposed but aperently I can't wipe anything or change clothes because they need all the evidence they can get. All I want right now is to take a shower and try to forget this ever happened, but they're right that the rational thing is to get some evidence bagged so I have that in case I change my mind. 

I look like hell when we walk into the ER and a nurse comes over to us right away «what happened to you sweetie?» The older woman says, and I bite my lip, I can't say it out loud. Chloe whispers in her ear and the nurse lead us into a separate room. 

«Lay down on the bed and I will get the doctor right away. Hang in there sweetie» the nurse says before she goes to find the doctor. Ryan helps me onto the bed, and it at least means I don't have to keep myself upright much longer because everything hurts right now. 

After a few minutes a female doctor comes in followed by the same nurse from before, they introduce themself as dr turner and nurse Fallon. they ask for the basic, my name, social security number and all that so they can pull up my medical records on their computer. 

«Lilliana, I need to ask you directly, do you want a rape kit done, do you consent to that?» Dr turner asks me and my hands tremble. «Yes» I say as clearly as I can. 

They ask if I want my friends to stay and I hesitate. I don't know if I want them here but at the same time, I don't want to be alone. It's an intimate exam and I don't know if I'm comfortable with Ryan here because he is a male, has never seen me naked and I've always had a crush on. «How about I go to the waiting room? I can go back to Chloes apartment first and get you some clothes for when you get to go home» Ryan says, and I nod. He squeezes my hand before he heads out and I say I want Chloe to stay here. I need someone I know to hold my hand.