Arranged love - jaylor AU

nightmare

- taylors pov - 

Joe arrived earlier than me today, so I'm rushing out of the car to the office building when I get a weird feeling. It feels like someone is following me, looking at me but I can't see them. I stop and look around me to see, but there are no one there. The last couple of days I get this weird feeling that someone is following me and it's driving me insane. It's a horrible feeling, but I'm probably just paranoid. It's not the first time I get these weird feelings, so I try not to read too much into it.

These days I'm trying to focus on the good things in life. Yesterday was Lillys birthday, she turned seven years old and it's both exiting and scary to see her grow up. This morning she asked me if she is different between the day before her birthday and the day after since she is a year older. But I explained to her that change and maturing comes gradually, but that she is more grown up than she was the day after she turned six, and that in a year she will be slightly more mature than she is now. It's not so much the actual age that matters but more the passing of time that makes her grow up.

I wish she never grew up and just stayed this little because when you're little the world can't hurt you like it does when you're an adult or even just middle school age. The world can be a nasty place and it's impossible to avoid facing hard stuff that can break you. I don't want my little girl to go through the hurt I and everyone else eventually face, I want her to always be happy, but I know it's not realistic. All I can do is help her become a strong individual that can take on the hard stuff in her life. And I will make sure that she always has me that she can come to for advice or just a shoulder to cry on. When I was a child, I felt alone because my parents weren't around like they should have, and I never want my daugther to feel that. 

Getting up to my office there is yet another flower arrangement waiting for me on the coffee table. There was just one yesterday but now its two days in a row, that hasn't happened before. It makes me sick to my stomach to know that Adam keeps sending these. I don't know what he is after with doing all of this, I'm not going to go into his arms again. I've let myself be fooled by his fake niceties for far too long, I'm not going to be fooled by his tricks again. Now that I have meet Joe and felt how he treats me I know that what Adam did was wrong. For so long I thought that you need to take the hurt with the good feelings, but Joe has proven to me that I was so wrong in thinking that. The person you're with isn't supposed to inflict you pain or abuse, you are supposed to be able to rely on them and they are supposed to treat you with care and respect. 

To My one and only love. You will always be mine, never forget all the things I've done for you. One day you will realize that I'm the person you were destined to be with Taylor Fitzgerald. I love you and I know you love me. - AW 

His messages make me sick; it's all lies and fake niceties, and I throw them out. The flowers get delivered to my office, but after the first two I don't keep them in here because I can't stand looking at them. When you get flowers from someone you truly care about its not supposed to make you feel this way. 

I call Selena into my office after I remove the note and put it in a drawer «can you take these somewhere else. The smell gives me a headache» I lie to her, and she removes it without a question, it's become the routine. with the first couple she asked me who brought them for me, but I didn't tell her the truth. I told her that its business associates that keeps sending me flowers to suck up to the future CEO because I'm a girl that they think they can manipulate. I don't know if she believed that story, but at least it got her to stop asking questions. 

Part of me think that I should tell someone about what's going on, but I don't know how to bring it up to someone. It's been happening for so long and I don't want to make it into a huge deal. I've known Adam for years and I know he is capable of bad things, but I doubt he would actually do something. If I told someone or even worse, went to the police to get a restraining order or something to give me peace of mind and make these deliveries and uncomfortable messages stop, it would blow up in my face.