Let me love you[TK au]

14. The diary

Please ignore the mistakes.

Enjoy!!!

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Taehyung came to his house and locked the door. He seated on his couch and slowly opened Jungkook's diary.

I'm a crying mess right now. I don't know the reason for my birth and I don't even know why am I still alive. I'm not Living the life I wanted to.  Why am I still alive just to get hurt? To suffer more and more? I wanna shout my heart out but I can't do that. No one knows how I feel, they don't care too even he doesn't care. I hate him but why can't I just fucking hate him. It's too much for me, do I still love him? I don't know and I don't want to know.

Taehyung's heart was broken by every word of Jungkook. Particularly those words at the end, he felt a pang in his heart.

So Jungkook loved someone.

Taehyung chuckled sadly, not because of his Kook's past relationship but because of the miseries he had in that relationship.

What a stupid mother fucker he is. Not knowing how to take care of an angel.

Taehyung turned to the next page.

I'm breaking down for small reasons nowadays. I'm an optimistic person but still, I don't know why am I like this.

What did I ask? Is that too much to ask for being loved by someone? To give you the love that u deserve and cherish you? I loved him, I just wanted to give him all of mine and what I got back was heartbreak, a bad name, and a wrong projection of me to this world. No one knows how much I'm holding into it, no one knows how much I'm breaking, no one knows I'm exhausted and I can't handle it anymore..... I have no one not a single soul besides me. I just wanted to be respected and loved. I loved his every action and every move but he never glanced at me, never. I accept I can't get rid of him, I can't, I still love him and I hate to accept it even after knowing his true colors like how he was my first love after all. I made him my 1st priority and he cheated on me just like that.

I got shifted to Seoul, it's hard to stand alone all of a sudden but I'll try my best, I met Jin hyung, he was so caring and I got a job offer from his husband's company, now I have to prove myself.

From where can I start, I joined my company a week ago and there are these people, Jimin, Hoseok hyung, and Namjoon hyung, they are way too caring and lovable. For the first time, I feel like I have someone. But still even tho I have them I don't have someone to LOVE me like to LOVE me.

Today was a whole mess, it was my birthday and I broke down but this is not the main thing, the thing is Jimin and Jin hyung witnessed this and called Yoongi and Namjoon hyung too. But I should appreciate it because I feel light after sharing everything about my past. They are angels they supported me and said they would love me, what else do I need from them. I feel complete God, thank you for gifting me them.

Taehyung read every page of that diary that was completely filled with Jungkook's pain and suffering. Taehyung's eyes are tear-poll right now. And he came to know that except for Hobi everyone knows Jungkook's past and that's why they were all so careful and loving towards him even when Taehyung confessed his feelings to them they seem to be very serious just like a parent. But still, Jungkook didn't get out of his past.

Poor baby had suffered a lot.

One thing that Taehyung was sure about, Jungkook was still suffering from depression and taking medications. And the main thing he still didn't forget his past relationship and he still loves him.

Taehyung was fuming in anger. If he met Jungkook's ex then he'll definitely make sure to break all of his bones and kick him to the death. He better never get in front of Taehyung.

And Taehyung made a decision. He was in love with Jungkook that's for sure but he wanted to love this Jungkook and cherish him till he die. Taehyung took a vow to love him and to get his baby from his locked room in his mind.

Jungkook's diary was completely filled with his craving for hugs and love and his soundless screams out of his stress.

Taehyung's eyes landed on a page on which it was written as sweet wishes. After a long time, his lips twitched and rolled upwards to expose his smile.

Sweet wishes...

I need to go for a night walk, bike ride during the nighttime, looooong car ride, enjoy the rain at the night, explore the whole amusement park, bath at a waterfall, (sweet desire) kiss under the rain, stargazing, watch the sunset, dance in the dark with barefoot on the grass( from the song perfect I know hehe), sit alone with nature during night time, movie nights, movie marathon, I would love to do especially during the night times.

Taehyung chuckled after reading Jungkook's cute childish wishes. He already made one of his wishes to be true and he'll make sure to do his every wish become true. Mainly that rain kiss, wow, how will it feels to kiss his baby under the rain, to hold him tight in his arms and kiss him with at most love and passion. Making Jungkook go weak on his knees and letting his tongu-

ENOUGH!!! Kim Taehyung!!!!

He cleared his throat, if there was someone with him they'll definitely spitting on his face and will rip his head off his body for his stupid thought, but luckily there was no one and he lives alone for heavens!!

He closed the diary and mentally noted to keep it from where he took it without noticing Jungkook.

I promise to get you out of your past my love, and I'll always make sure to love you and respect you because you deserve it.

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Thank you for reading!!

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