Chapter 43

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Author's Note

I really want to drive the story forward now and get to Ava by the next chapter, so I'm warning you that this chapter will be really choppy with loads of time skips and mistakes I'm sure, but I hope you like it despite that. I wanted this to be a birthday chapter but there was like soooooo much drama so... I just settled for Election Day well night, well morning really... its like 2:30am.This was my first general election and I think I got too excited, I literally felt like I had all the power in the world, yes I am crazy like that XD anyway happy reading it's going to be a looooong one I hope you don't mind. I'm super tired but I really wanted to thank Yunkaer? Her comment really made me smile the other day, when I was in a bad mood (I'm a cranky person) And also sorry for the author's note first you won't get another.

I barely saw Kai during the one month it took us to return to Cullen's stronghold. Yet that didn't stop me from noting his presence all around me. I knew he visited me in my sleep because I could smell him when I woke up and every time I left the carriage for air the first thing I saw, smelt, or heard would be him. The only thing I couldn't do was touch him, but that was another matter entirely when I dreamt.

I would always wake up with a blush on my face and a racing heart, sometimes I felt sick at the thought of what my mind had conjured up during my slumber but at other times I yearned for them to come true. It was like torture, two sides of myself ready to tear other apart both fighting for their right to love a man.

My condition varied from day to day, sometimes I was in full control of myself at other times I could barely think, let alone control my own limbs. It was almost as torturous as my dreams. But I would rather subject myself to the pain of my transition than live with the heartache. I had to try and stay calm at all times but it got hard sometimes and I would find myself almost shifting it was then that Kai would have to intervene and help me calm down.

As we neared Cullen's castle guilt rooted itself in my stomach, I was sat unable to stare out the window as I thought about Dale. He knew me too well he would know that something was wrong from the moment he set eyes on me. He probably already knew about the kiss, he might have felt it. I closed my eyes leaning my head back as I tried to stay calm.

As I did so the carriage came to a pause and the door cracked open, sunlight pouring in. The light dimmed as a shadow passed through the carriage. There absolute stillness as I met those blue eyes that belonged to the one I loved most in this world. He reached out for my hand with a small smile, as he lead me down and out. I leaned on him neither of us saying a word, we had come to a stop just outside the gates of Cullen's castle, the rest of the party moved on without us and I frowned unable to understand where he was taking me.

From the corner of my eye I could see Kai watching us but he went along with the rest of the party heading towards the castle.

"Where are we going?"

"You wait and see"

My frown deepened but I held on to him. As we walked I found myself observing his face looking for some change but there wasn't any. He looked a little tired but apart from that there was nothing. In fact he seemed to have returned to the Dale that I knew at Lorenae. There was nothing distant about him at all, I smiled at him hoping that this was true that things could go back to the way they came.

After a while Dale stopped me and let out a small whistle. We were in a part of the surrounding forest that bordered the castle. I heard something rustling towards us and out of the forest came a little figure of auburn fur that ran around my feet.

The blur stopped and at my feet was a little auburn wolf, or pup rather it seemed to be about a year or two. Small but fast and full of energy. I looked at Dale who watched me carefully a bright expression on his face, slowly I reached down and picked up the pup who's bright brown eyes stared at me with love...

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