Spencer Charnas One Shots

LXXXIV. Fucked Up

hey.. I fucked up with my best friend today. if you're reading this, I love you and I hope you can forgive me. I know im dumb and stupid, I know im not worthy of being your friend. I know that you shouldn't forgive me. so to get my emotions out, im writing this. you probably wont read it, but I love you. and I'm sorry. I will forever be sorry.

this is based off of a true scenario but with spencer and a lot more sweet since my bsf legit wants to fucking kill me. also my bsf cant exactly beat up him but.. spencer can :)

* WARNING: MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, YELLING

* hs based

I slowly slid my best friend's hoodie over my head and snuggled into it. Today was the day I was going to tell him. Tell him that I had been secretly talking to my ex.. the one who sexually assaulted me. I don't know why I did it, but it kind of gave me clarity. It was an idiotic move.

I gathered my things and walked to school, needing time to think. It took what felt like seconds to get to the school as my stomach was churning. I slowly walked into and through the building. Everything looked like it wad in slow motion. Was I about to have a panic attack?

I tried to breathe as I made it to my locker. Step one, finished. Step two, tell Spencer. I gulped and slowly pulled my books out of my bag and put my bag in the locker. I stared at it for a moment before grabbing the diet Cola from my bag and shutting the locker. I jumped when Spencer was standing next to me. "You okay?" he questioned. I nodded with a smile, but I knew he knew better.

We walked to our first period and sat down, listening to other students chat. "Y/n, what's wrong?" he questioned, putting his hand on my knee. I felt moths, yes, moths. Butterflies plus anxiety equals.. moths.

"I.. Started talking to Ethan again a while ago.." I admitted quietly. I saw Spencers face turn red and I was scared. At him? No. At my ex? Yes.

"We'll deal with this after school," he said through gritted teeth. Something was off and I didn't know what he was thinking. I just turned back to my paper and doodled on it, not being able to focus well.

After class, Spencer dragged me through the hallway. "Stay." He spoke sternly as he pushed me in the doorway of my next class. Obviously, I didn't listen. I looked out to where he walked.

"You mother fucker!" I heard Spencer yell. Then, a thud. I pushed through people to get to where I could see them both. There was already blood. My eyes widened. Ethan wasn't fighting back. He just laid there, taking punch after punch.

"Spencer!" I shouted at him. His fist stopped in mid air as he looked at me, eyes full of rage. I looked at him with pleading ones of my own and got him distracted enough for a teacher to grab Spencer and hold him back. I watched them walk away and disperse the crowd. My principal came up to me and put her hand on my back.

"Let's talk in my office.." she said softly and began leading me away from the bloodied and beaten up boy.

*

I finished telling her everything and now I was sat in her office alone. I swallowed thickly and fiddled with my nails. I was about to start pulling them off. My real nails. The clock ticking was driving me insane. I had been here for over an hour. School was about to let out.

And before I knew it, she walked back in with a police officer. "Hi again Y/n. I want you to tell Officer Harley what you told me," my principal said. I watched them both sit down and look at me.

"I can't." I whispered after a few moments of silence. "I can't talk about it again.."

"I take on a lot of cases about sexual assault, Y/n. I can help you," the Officer said to me. I shook my head. There was a few more minutes of silence before my principal spoke after a sigh,

"Head back to class. We're about to dismiss school." I almost ran out of that office.

*

I got home and texted Spencer to come over. He didn't reply, but a few minutes later, I heard the door open. He had a key. I heard his heavy footsteps walk up the stairs and then my door opened. I looked over him and saw his hands were wrapped up.

"How could you be so fucking stupid Y/n? Talking to him again? How many times does he have to fucking hurt you for you to understand!?" Spencer began to raise his voice. I didn't bother saying anything, my eyes starting to tear. "You're so fucking idiotic. You knew what was going to happen yet you did it anyways!"

At this point, tears were streaming down my face. I tried not to loudly cry, just waiting for him to get it over with. "You better be FUCKING glad that I don't beat you up too! I'd love to beat the shit out of you so it'd knock some sense into your brain but I wont." The last sentence he said back in a normal voice. "I don't blame you fully. I do in a sense, but I blame him more."

I wiped my eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie, starting to ugly cry. It was a few seconds before I felt him hug me. "I'm not mad at you. I'm more disappointed. But I'm glad you told me, Y/n.." I couldn't speak, I just cried. I couldn't stop crying.

Spencer slowly ran his hand through my hair and I loosely wrapped my arms around his waist. Once I could talk, I sighed. "What's wrong with me Spencer..?"

It took a few seconds for him to answer. He pulled away from the embrace and looked at me straight in the eyes. "Nothing's wrong with you. You are perfect. You just had some bad shit happen to you."

"That doesn't explain my behavior.."

He sighed, "Listen, I'm no doctor. I can't rack through your brain and tell you something. But I will always be here for you. And I will beat the living shit out of him again if I have to."

I nodded and looked down. Spencer finally took a seat next to me and pulled me into him. "I love you." I spoke quietly.

"I love you too. But you ever fucking do this again, you're dead," he said the last part through gritted teeth. I didn't say anything else, I just closed my eyes and relaxed into my best friend.

I'm sorry, yk who u are. and even if it didnt happen like this, I still wrote abt it. I will forever be sorry. but I love you and I hope one day you can forgive me.

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