My Insurgent Life (Completely Fanfiction) Wattys2015

Chapter 35

The paper falls from my hands as if it were a million pounds, but drifts light as a feather into my lap.

"Stella," Lamar's voice is in my ear. He pulls me closer, into his lap. "Stella, I'm sorry-"

"Don't," I say. "Don't apologize. If you do, I'll have to think about it."

He is silent. I turn towards him, careful with my movements, my legs around his waist, my face buried in his neck. His fingers touch the small of my back so lightly, I wouldn't notice them if his skin didn't give off such heat. I slip my arms under his and my wrists slide over his shoulders.

After several long moments, I lift my head to look at him, our eyes meet, his full of worry.

"What does the note say?" He asks quietly.

"That Alice and Anthony are on their way," I say. "And not to try to keep him alive, that it would be useless."

He stares at me for a moment before one of his hands reaches up and presses my head back to his neck. "I'm really sorry," he says. "And I know 'sorry' doesn't do anything to help, but it's all I can do right now." He sighs. "I'll try," he says. "I'll do everything I can to keep him alive for you, but I don't know what it'll do. I think he's right, that he wont make it and that we shouldn't waste our time on trying to get him out. But I will try, for you."

I lift my head again, stare into his eyes for a moment. He stares back at me.

"I'd do anything for you," he says.

I press my lips to his. His fingers tangle in my hair, his other arm presses me closer, presses more warmth into me. I barely move. Only one arm. It slides up his neck, into his hair, holding him in place, so close to me.

He pulls away. "God, Stella," he whispers. "I love you so much, so much. Words can't describe what I feel for you. The letters of the alphabet are failing me. I could bunch them all together, wait a million years and their value still wouldn't be anywhere near what you are to me," he says. "I have no idea what I would do without you, I don't know how I survived eighteen years like that. If were to lose you . . . God, I can't even think of what I would do. I would be destroyed." He untangles his hand from my hair and presses it to my face. "You are mine. I can't live any other way," he says. "I need you to know that. I want you to feel the same way. God, I need you."

"Lamar . . ." I say at a loss at words. "I do feel the same way. I need you more than you could possibly need me."

"Stella," he says. "You have no idea. You complete me." He holds me tighter, folding me carefully into his arms. His mouth is right next to my ear. "I will not lose you, nothing will take you away from me ever again. I wouldn't be able to handle it." I feel his quick breaths against my skin. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I say. "You don't know how much I love you and I need you."

His inhales and his exhales are fast, I feel every one of them on the back of my neck. He leans back, lying down, pulling me with him. I am laying on top of him, spread over him in his arms.

"Sleep," he whispers. "If there's a plan, we don't need to think about it."

I nod into his chest. "Okay," I whisper back to him. I close my eyes and within minutes, sleep finds me.

* * *

"Execution time!" Christine's voice is loud in my ears.

Lamar is already awake, his arms tight around me. He is tense. "No," he says. "You have no good reason to just kill her, she's your sister."