My Insurgent Life (Completely Fanfiction) Wattys2015

Chapter 15

        The four of us sit together, Alice and Grace sit on a patch of ground with stained carpet, Lamar and I sit on a small sofa that Angelina had insisted we do so.

        As Lamar had said, it is getting dark.

        "We should get some sleep." Alice says quietly. "I mean -- if we're leaving tomorrow and in a safe house, it'd be a good idea and no one needs to keep watch."

        I nod along with her words. "Yeah." I say.

        We just sit there for a few more moments, then, we situate ourselves into sleeping positions, Alice and Grace search for chairs so they don't have to sleep on the floor. I offer to join them, but they decline.

        "Do you want to talk?" Lamar asks me.

        "I don't know," I say. "About what?"

        He sighs. "I know you know I don't want you to go to Erudite."

        "I don't know what to do about that," I say. "I don't know any other way we could stop the war."

        "Well, what you insist on doing doesn't sound like stopping the war," he whispers. "It sounds like suicide."

        "It isn't suicide," I whisper back. "It's a sacrifice, sacrifices have to be made to end a war."

        "Yeah, but why does it have to be you?" He asks. "I mean -- I see why you think it should be you, you think you can convince your siblings to end the war -- but what about if you can't? What about if they don't care whether you live or die?"

        "How could they not care?" I say. "Don't you remember last time we were there? They don't want us dead. They just want to use us, to test their Divergent simulation serums, to work for them. If we're dead, how can they do any of that?"

        "We can't be the only ones left," he says. "I mean -- either way, why would they be that specific, to only want us?"

        "I don't know, maybe they think we're different, somehow."

        There is a brief silence. "Maybe because we're from Candor."

        I nod at him, he could be right, maybe they don't even want to test us, just want someone from home.

        But yet, how can I believe that? After what Mathew did to me? After how they reacted to Lamar being there with me?

        I shake my head and say, "I don't want to talk about that anymore, it -- it's too much right now." I pause. "Let's get some sleep."

        He nods and slips his arms around me, holding me close, forbidding me from leaving.

        *        *        *

        Eventually, I am able to fall asleep, with Lamar's warmth surrounding me, I am almost able to forget going to Erudite, all the stress on how and when I'll leave, and everything he's telling me.

        Soon, I find myself living in a dream again.

        *        *        *

        I wake on a sofa, the same sofa I'd slept on with Lamar the night before. I am cold. My fingers are turning purple.

        I push myself into a sitting position, then to my feet. The air is even colder than the sofa's material.