My Insurgent Life (Completely Fanfiction) Wattys2015

Chapter 17

        "So, may I ask if 'Jade' is really your name?" Angelina asks me. "I mean -- you look familiar, and I don't remember a 'Jade' from Candor."

        I glance over at Lamar, wondering if he wants me to tell her or not. He nods briefly to me, indicating that I should.

        I turn my head to face Angelina again. "No," I say. "My name is not Jade," I pause. "I chose a different name for Dauntless, but, I guess, sense we're not there anymore, I'd prefer you call me Stella."

        "Stella," she says. "Your name is beautiful, might your last name be Thorn, by chance?"

        "Yes, it is."

        "I've heard things about you," she smiles at me. Then, it fades. "I know that your siblings rule Erudite, and started this war. I hope you are not like them."

        "Don't you think there's a reason I chose Dauntless instead of Erudite?" I snap at her. "If I were like my siblings, don't you think I would be there right now, helping with this war? If I were like my siblings, why would I be standing here with the factionless?"

        She says nothing.

        I open my mouth to say more, like my siblings started this war on Candor, do you really think I would do something like that? I don't care if I'm related to them, I wouldn't let myself be responsible for my own mother's death.

        But Lamar stops me. "Stella, don't," he says, and I feel his fingers wrap around my arm, holding me tightly.

        I know I won't be able to stop, and I know this isn't necessary, so I yank my arm from his grasp and walk through the doorway, soon, I am back in the small room we'd slept in the night before. I lay down on the couch, part of me is hoping he won't find me, but another is hoping he will.

        I lay there for a few moments before I hear footsteps behind me. "Stella, I know you're here," he says, and I know it's him.

        "I'm not in the talking mood right now," I say quietly. "Just leave me alone, please."

        I hear more footsteps and he is beside me. "I'm not leaving," he says. "I'm not going to let you go to Erudite behind my back."

        "So you don't trust me not to go," I snap. "If I really wanted to go right now, don't you think I would been gone when you came looking for me? Do you really think I'd still be in this room?"

        "You're smarter than that," he says. "You would've left last night, or you plan on leaving tonight, you wouldn't just leave in the middle of the day."

        I ignore his words. "Do you trust me not to leave?" My voice is hard and my arms are crossed.

        "Of course I don't!" His voice is risen. "I mean -- you haven't said anything to me after I try to get you to change your mind, you just say the same thing, like you can't decide if you should go or not. But I know you think you should go. No one else thinks you should, but you do. You don't seem to hear what we're saying!"

        "Look, if you would just leave me alone right now, I wouldn't have to think about that, and I might not go, but every time we talk you bring it up, and I have to stress about it!"

        "You think you're stressing about it?" He asks. "What about Alice, or Grace, or me? Do you think we want you to go and are pretending we don't? Do you think we don't care? What is it you think?"

        "Just leave me alone!" I nearly scream. "I can't take it! You keep making me stress about this, and I know you don't want me to go, but I just can't live like this, knowing I might be able to end this war, if I just go. One life lost instead of so many others is much better, don't you think?"