My Insurgent Life (Completely Fanfiction) Wattys2015

Chapter 6

        "Now, what is your name?" The announcer asks me. She had me dragged back to the cafeteria so my name could be recorded and I would be injected with peace serum.

        My face is still wet with tears but no more fall.

        Lamar stands behind me. We do not touch, for now is not the time, and comforting me now will not make things better- and he knows that.

        Now, I must decide who I want to be known as, how I want the Amity to view me, how I want my fellow Dauntless to view me. I think of Lamar's father and how he would view me if I decided to abandon my real name again.

        Although, if I chose to be known by real name, the remaining Dauntless and Amity will know who I am.

        "Jade." I say, quietly. And I see, sometimes you don't make the decision, the decision makes you.

        Suddenly, I feel as if a heavy weight has been lifted from my shoulders. The truth has finally reached me. I have finally realized that none of this is my fault. I may still grieve, I know I will, but it must don't drag me so heavily now.

        "Well, Jade," I hear a familiar voice say from the crowd- Nate- the man who had spoken to us only minutes ago. And also the man who had tortured Lamar as a child.  "Apparently you aren't grateful of all your father had done for you. Look what Dauntless has done to the sweet girl I once knew!" I see Nate separated from the crowd again.

        "Now, now, Nate," the announcer says. "If she is lying I'm sure she'll tell eventually, she was Candor after all."

        I feel anger rise in my veins. Is she serious? Basing me off of my old faction once again. Why don't they learn- I became a Dauntless member, ranked the highest, and they continue to refer to me as a Candor?

        "Don't you think if I were still Candor I would be dead by now?" I snap at her. "In case you haven't noticed, beyond your precious boarders, there is a war raging on, and that war, is the cause of dozens of innocent people dying every day."

        "Oh! Is that why so many Dauntless have been visiting lately?" She asks. I do nothing. "Well, we'll prepare for more visitors! Oh, and someone get the serum, she is horribly bitter at the moment," she turns to me and pushes the microphone farther from her face. "Don't worry, this will only help you lighten up a little." She speaks to me as if I were a child.

        "No," I say quietly. "Don't talk to me like I don't know anything, you're the ones separated from a war between the factions!" My voice is rising. "You're the ones acting so cowardly, especially Nate!" I shout without thinking. I feel a hand close around my wrist, I ignore it. "He's the one who came here several years ago, knowing a war would be coming, and didn't care to tell anyone a thing about it!" A few gasps rise from the crowd.

        I see a few people coming towards me quickly, with injections in hand. Their expressions show their lack of recent injections.

        I feel the hand tighten around my wrist, yanking me away from them. I realize that it is Lamar's hand around my wrist, he knows I don't want to be injected, either that or he'd rather have me be able to understand him when he scolds me for acting like that in front of the Amity and remaining Dauntless.

        They now stand before us, the injection inching closer to my neck. Lamar yanks my wrist back again, throwing me off balance and sending a bolt of pain up my arm. I step back to regain my balance.

        I realize he is not trying to keep me from being injected, they'll get me eventually, he's only trying to get me close enough to whisper this to me; "just let them, you need to cool off anyway."

        I want to yell at him or at least glare, but the injection is at my neck now. I feel a sharp pain where the injection had just been. I fall back, only to be caught by Lamar.

        A wave of happiness falls over me, I don't feel like yelling or glaring or anything negative. A smile stretches across my face.

        "What did you do to her?" A familiar voice says angrily. I don't see why he is so angry, what is the point of anger? What is the point in anything negative? It only makes people feel bad.

        "They gave her too much!" Another voice says. "What happened to weight and height, you fools?!" She seems upset as well.

        I realize that my eyes are closed, that is why I don't see the people the voices belong to, although, opening my eyes might give me a reason to be upset too. I'd rather not.

        "Well," the second voice says. "What is your name? Oh, and, please, don't make us go through the trouble of injecting you."

        There is a brief silence.

        "Storm," the first voice says. Oh, yes, I remember who he is now. "Well," he says," we'll be going now, we'll return later."

        A moment later, I feel as if I am being carried. Something warm rests under my legs, behind my back, over my shoulder, and against my head.

        I finally decide to open my eyes, I see Lamar's face above mine.

        "Hi," I say cheerfully. I notice an aching pain in my throat, I wonder why . . .

        Lamar looks down at me, the soft brown of his eyes illustrate a curiosity beneath them. "Are you okay?"

        I laugh at this thought. "Why wouldn't I be?"

        I notice that Lamar is not smiling, is he still angry? But what for? I lift my hands to his face and pull the corners of his mouth up with my index-fingers. He shakes his head until I take my hands from his face. I throw my arms over his neck and rest my head on his shoulder, allowing my eye-lids to fall over my eyes again.

        "What's wrong?" I ask him.

        "We'll talk later," he says.

        I open my eyes and frown jokingly at him, only to allow the corners of my mouth to flick up again. He still doesn't smile at me. I feel a small ache in my chest, the kind of ache felt when you feel guilty of something. What did I do?

        Although, finding out could be upsetting, everyone seems to be upset about something today, could the cause of my guilty feeling be the reason everyone is so stressed?

        After a few more moments of Lamar carrying me through the halls of a large building, I decide that I should know what is going on, maybe if I know what I had done, I might be able to help everyone feel better about it.

        "Did I do something?" I ask.

        Lamar turns his head to look at me again, his eye-brows fall low over his eyes as they scan my face. I think he does not remember who I am, I laugh slightly at this thought. How could he not remember who I am?

        He turns his face away from mine again.

        "What did I do?" I ask him again, although this time more angrily. My chest aches more, I might have hurt him with my tone.

        "Something you probably shouldn't have," he says without looking at me. There is a long silence.

        Finally, Lamar stops walking, he opens a door in front of us. Everything in the room seems somehow familiar- oh, yes, this is my room from yesterday when we arrived in Amity, I remember the feeling of grief I had felt sitting on the bed, thinking about everything. But, now, somehow, I fail to remember what everything is. I know of the war raging on past the Amity boarders, I remember my ranking as a Dauntless member, but I don't remember much else.

        Then, something hits me. "Storm," I say as he lays me on the bed. He looks at me. "Where are my parents?"

        He only stares at me for a few moments, I read pain in his eyes. After a while I notice his lips part and begin forming silent words. Only once do I hear him say something, he says it so quietly, as if he hadn't meant to make a sound, "you don't remember."

        And at the moment, I agree.

        I don't.