Distant Thoughts

Sweet Nothings

I loved you for the way your eyebrows squished together when you laughed. Your eyes would squinch tight and your cheeks would crease.

Your eyes.

God, your eyes.

Remember when I told you I could drown in them?

I meant it. Liquid pools of green and gold. Your eyelashes were like soft feathers that carressed me while I drowned.

I loved you for the way you said my name.

For the way you reached around from behind and wrapped your arms around me, whispering my name into my ear.

It sent chills down my spine and wherever your lips were it left sparks.

Our hands were tangled tightly, sharing an electric current.

I loved you for the way you set me on fire.

Sometimes you just liked to watch me burn.

Passionate anger.

Do you remember the ashtray?

You had called me out on something.

It was the first time I actually thought about hurting you.

You grabbed me when I tried to bolt from the room, holding me.

Your arms were like anchors and all I could imagine was sailing away.

But you held me there. And kissed my shoulders and I succumbed.

You woke me up that night and we lay in each other's arms for hours.

You were forgiven, again.

I loved you for the way you made me laugh.

The kind when I covered my mouth and laughed hysterically.

I loved you for the times you danced with me. In public, in your kitchen, in G's room. The way you held me to you like I was your missing puzzle piece.

I loved for the way you held me until I fell asleep at night.

You talked me through it, holding me through the nightmares, the thrashing, the screaming.

You told me you loved me anyway.

I loved you for the way you listened to me.

Through all of my obsessions.

The bands, the members.

The anime, the books.

The TV shows I was enthralled with, so much so you stayed up to watch them with me.

I loved you for the way your hair curled around your ears.

How there was a bald spot in your eyebrow and a chip in your front teeth.

I loved you for your freckles.

How when I spoke your name, your cheeks flushed.

Delicate pools flushing with passion.

I loved you for the way you looked at me.

Like I was oxygen and you needed air.

I loved you for the endless stories you let me tell you.

You sat through it all, patiently waiting, giving me your fill.

I loved you for the way you played with my hair while my head was in your lap.

We were staring up at the cloudy sky, in your mom's backyard.

I loved you for the long nights.

I loved you for the endless mornings.

I loved you for everything in between.

I loved you until I could not love myself anymore.

"I loved you even when you gave me thousands of reasons not to;

WHY DID YOU GIVE ME UP THAT EASY?"