I don't know why my thoughts always go back to you
but they do and I want you to know that
every time I don't go running to you
I almost do, oh god
I almost fucking do.
And I know you feel the same way
because you told me drunk on my birthday.
So now I'm stuck here with memories
remembering the "do you have your knife?"
and "of course, so we're safe"
then "you're always safe with me. but hold on, let me borrow it."
and then tree limbs forever carved with our initials.
and more, picking wildflowers and identifying them
cause we're the only ones who will ever know all those nights
we spent in the grass, you with your fingers in my hair
braiding a crown of yellow dandelions into my hair
you, with my head in your lap and
"please. don't ever let this end."
more, cause we're the only ones who will ever know
me searching endlessly in crowds for you
pulling your helmet off and me ruffling your hair
and "great game, kiddo,"
then, "I only played so well because you were watching," and
we're the only ones that will know about those Saturday nights.
more, you holding the ball and one finger, four fingers, and then three, in the direction where
you knew I would be and
me having no idea how you knew that and then
my mom smiling and
me holding them back up, one, four, three, two.
we're the only ones that know that.
I intended to share that with someone extremely special
but my mom told you anyway
even when I had no intentions of ever telling you
and I'm the only one who will ever know that.
and they say that when you really love someone
it doesn't go away
and it's true
when you really care about someone,
you don't just forget.
you move on.
but you don't forget.
and later on, we're the only ones that will ever know
dancing, the cheese on toast, that ring, and how I broke it punching the wall
the stone flew off and I lost it but
you paid for it to be resized and put back together
and we're the only ones that know that now.
and later on, we're the only ones who will ever know
you let me win all those video games and laughed when I hit you with the controller
you carried me piggyback style after every game and
you kissed my shoulders and on Halloween,
we shared our candy and ran through the streets laughing.
and later on, I've moved on
but I haven't forgotten.
you were the worst thing that ever happened to me
but we had a lot of fun
and I thank you for most of the childhood that I don't look back on and cry about.
because we're the only ones who know this.
and if you called right now, or at three in the morning
I'd still answer, because I'll always care
but I'd tell you that I don't want anything to do with you
and it's time for you to move on, too.
YOU ARE READING
Distant Thoughts
Poetryhow to: get over your first love write a book about your experience with heartbreak -- 1. "You are like the wind Sometimes here, sometimes not Maybe I ought To have known that now Is the time you aren't" 2. "I'm running out of things to say Please...
