I guess, in retrospect, I should have sensed decay.
Things started to fall apart around December and I left you. The next month was our anniversary, and I came running back to you.
We only lasted until February.
When you came to me last month, telling me you never should've left, why did you leave again?
Knowing you, just because your mom forbid you, doesn't mean you'd listen.
Or was it just an excuse to leave again?
My mom, your sisters, and your cousins all bring you up. I wonder if they can see how my face hardens when they say your name.
Do you remember how when /you/ said /my/ name, I'd curl into your arms? Or did you forget that too, just like you forgot everything else?
Like how I hate the colors green and orange, and when you punched the walls and hit trees because of me.
Like how I loved when your eyes sparkled and hated when you cried.
Do you still think about me late at night? Is that why you constantly bother your sister at ungodly hours? Your sister and I spoke last night. She said you came in her room and tried to grab her phone when it went off. She knocked your hand away and I remember her saying you just left the room.
If you want to talk to me, you should talk to me yourself instead of reading G's texts.
"I just don't know and I promised, we'd rearrange things to fix the mess I made here. In the end, we just moved furniture around."
I tried to fix it, but mistakes kept slipping through the cracks in my fingers.
I haven't seen you since January.
I haven't spoken to you in almost a month.
I'm trying to be okay with that.
"I STILL LOVE YOU BUT I DON'T LOVE MYSELF ANYMORE
ESPECIALLY AFTER ALL I'VE DONE TO YOU,
JUST FORGIVE ME
Just come back."
YOU ARE READING
Distant Thoughts
Poetryhow to: get over your first love write a book about your experience with heartbreak -- 1. "You are like the wind Sometimes here, sometimes not Maybe I ought To have known that now Is the time you aren't" 2. "I'm running out of things to say Please...
