"I'm sorry I was an asshole before." "I love you. I'm in love with you." "Don't be scared. Please." "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Sorry doesn't cut it. Sorry doesn't give me back the times I missed with my friends. Sorry doesn't give me back my smooth skin, sorry doesn't take away those scars on my wrist. Sorry doesn't take away the nights I spent crying and screaming and rocking back and forth. Sorry doesn't give me back the months I spent in therapy, crying because you said those awful things to me. SORRY DOESN'T GIVE ME MY LIFE BACK.
"I love you. I promise I do. I love you a lot."
How dare you? How dare you come back after so many months and tell me these things? How dare you think I'm just gonna let you back in and think I won't get hurt again? How dare you think I'd trust you? How dare you claim to love me after ripping me into a million tiny little pieces? How FUCKING DARE YOU?
"I miss you. I'm sorry I lied and said I didn't." What about all the other things you said? Do you remember those? Do I get an apology for that or do I just get a bullshit "I'm sorry," because I know you don't mean it. I know you don't. If you were sorry you'd be trying to show me how sorry you were instead of just repeating those meaningless words to me. What about when I tried to fix it? What about when all I wanted was to be friends and you laughed at me? Did you miss me then? Did you? Or was that girl you fucked enough for you at the time?
"You're trapped deep within me and you're never getting out. You can forget me but don't forget that I love you."
Bite me. Eat your words. I'm not letting you back in. I'm getting the fuck back out. I'm forgetting you.
YOU ARE READING
Distant Thoughts
Poetryhow to: get over your first love write a book about your experience with heartbreak -- 1. "You are like the wind Sometimes here, sometimes not Maybe I ought To have known that now Is the time you aren't" 2. "I'm running out of things to say Please...
