It was hot and windy that day. We were on your bed with the windows open, and your mouth was everywhere but my lips. My shoulders, my chest, my stomach. I had missed this. You reached up and grabbed my hands and suddenly we were holding each other like it was the last time we ever would again.
I remember this day, more clearly than I remember the rest. It wasn't about when you touched me and I succumbed to the pleasure underneath the weight of your fingers. It still isn't to this day. It was before and after, the way you held me like you'd never let me go.
So why did you let me go?
Even now, every day still seems to start and end with you. I still see your face right before I close my eyes. And God, I wish you were reading this. If you are, I just want to hear you tell me you love me. One more time.
I still speak your name in every place that I'm in. I look at things and wonder if you'd like them. Writing this won't help me let you go, but it will help me to hurt less.
You were supposed to be my everything. My happily ever after. My savior. But God, was our love too much for you? Did it frighten you like it frightened me? When you left, you took every piece of you with me.
Right now, there's someone waiting for me to respond. He isn't like you, and I'm glad he's not. He's taller and wider with more muscle. His hair is shaggy and his eyes are bright. He begs me to tell him my secrets.
but I swore,
"NEVER AGAIN WILL I LET SOMEONE IN."
He tells me I'm beautiful every second of the day, and he actually wants to hear my stories. But I never let him in.
I keep hoping one day, you'll come back.
Right now I just have to settle for someone else's kisses.
"Will I ever see you AGAIN?"
YOU ARE READING
Distant Thoughts
Poetryhow to: get over your first love write a book about your experience with heartbreak -- 1. "You are like the wind Sometimes here, sometimes not Maybe I ought To have known that now Is the time you aren't" 2. "I'm running out of things to say Please...
