Time Astral | Sirius Black

8||The New Professor

September 5nd, 1995

Sirius felt awful.

He'd been listening to his mother's portrait yell at him for hours now. And he was alone.

Utterly, truly alone.

Remus had work. He'd taken a job in the muggle world for the Anti-Werewolf Legislation law had been re-enacted four years ago once Freddie had resigned and there was no one to threaten Umbridge anymore.

He'd left the day Harry had and nothing, nothing at all could make Sirius happy. It was as though he'd just gone numb.

Not one emotion was in his chest other than loneliness. Not one. Feel something, he mentally berated. Anything.

But he couldn't. With a deep sigh, the raven haired male got up from his chair and went to make something for himself in the kitchen.

He was so – so tired. And yet not. Dumbledore – fucking Dumbledore had ordered him to stay put inside the house. And he couldn't even go out in the nearby markets and playparks.

He wanted to do something, wanted to fight, wanted to make a difference. But all he was allowed to do, was stay inside the house. And wait.

He was tired of waiting. Had Allie been here, she would've yelled at Albus. She would've fought for his freedom long ago. Would've tied Fudge to a pier if he wouldn't issue Black's full pardon. Sirius would've been free in matter of weeks – days.

But Alasia was dead.

He sucked in a sharp breath and dropped the spatula in his hand, turning of the stove before he went to his mother's room and sat beside Buckbeak.

The hippogriff ought to be let out for a fly. But, according to some orders, Sirius couldn't go out.

He rolled his eyes and threw a ferret at the big bird, leaning against the wall as he watched him eat.

"You know bud, she would've loved you." Sirius grinned, patting it's head once he'd bowed to Buckbeak.

"Or not, she doesn't like ferrets, really. She doesn't like many things." Sirius chuckled. "She is a very picky person. Was." Sirius bit his tongue. "Was a very picky person. Her wardrobe was never anything other than browns and greys and blacks. She adored grey. Loved it with her soul."

Sirius smiled absently, feeding the hippogriff another ferret as he nostalgically continued, "Such a shame that she cannot see this right now. Whatever's happening. Whatever Albus is doing, Riddle is doing. The Minister – Moody even. Whatever is happening, wouldn't have, if only she were here. Maybe I'd never have met you either, buddy."

Buckbeak grunted and Sirius laughed, throwing another ferret in it's direction. "Or maybe I would have. Who knows? Alasia was always the most unpredictable woman I'd known. And I'd known a lot of women, so that's saying something. She liked animals, though. She loved me when I was Padfoot. Truly, had asked me to transform only so she could sleep by my cosy fur." He grinned. "She had this amazing talent of making you laugh even when you're sulking in a corner. She spoke a lot of languages too, oh and she cursed in all of them. She loved sleeping with the window open – but would close it once I'd fall asleep for she was too afraid of someone ambushing her. Perhaps, that was one thing she hated most. The inability to go somewhere without looking behind your back. The fear of someone always following you, of always being vulnerable."

He sighed, throwing the last ferret towards Buckbeak. "I just wish we had more time. I'd wasted so much of it arguing with her. Of trying to keep her with me for one more moment – one moment which could've left me a lifetime with her if only I'd let her go. If only I'd cherished those last moments with her instead of fighting like my life depended on it – "