My Only Sunshine

Chapter 37

I felt scared and alone without Jax by my side. I had to be strong though, he needed me to be. As Gemma and I tried to get the guys released early, nothing felt like it was working. I was stressing myself out to the max and I knew Jax would be pissed because I was pregnant.

But I did what I felt was necessary. I wanted nothing more than for him to be home safe. And then Opie told me Juice got shanked in prison and I panicked. I felt the agony of everything crashing down. I was at TM with Opie. Gemma was in the office. "Opie, I can't lose him." I tried to keep my emotions out of it, but the assault had me thinking that I wouldn't be safe without Jax by my side. 

"Everything is going to work out the way it's supposed to." Ope tried to calm me down. 

"The way it's supposed to? Ope, he's in jail. Juice got stabbed. He could die in there." I raised my voice at him. Then the van pulled in. All of the guys except Juice stepped out. Happy and Jax stepped out and headed toward the garage. Bobby, Clay, and Tig headed towards the clubhouse. 

"Ope, Ley, you coming?" Jax questioned as he continued walking. I nodded and Gemma was left standing in the parking lot, wondering what the fuck was happening, I'm sure. Opie and I went into the garage with Jax and Happy and immediately I hugged him tighter than I ever had. 

"God damn it, I missed you guys." I said to him and Happy. 

"I know." I took a look at his face and I knew him and Clay got into it. 

"What is going on between you and Clay?" I questioned, which was returned with Jax looking at Happy and Opie with an unsure look on his face. They both just nodded. 

"Clay is heading this club in a bad direction, making a lot of shitty decisions. He also believes, how did he put it, your pussy is clouding my judgement. He also worries about Happy losing loyalty for the club because of you." I felt my heart shatter. 

"I've done nothing but support the club? I don't understand." I tried to make sense of the new information. "Does anyone else think my pussy is clouding your judgement, or is it just him?" I asked softly. 

"Just him and Tig." Jax said with a rage I had never seen him with.

"Jax, don't fight with him because of me. I mean, maybe I am clouding your judgement?" I suggested. 

"You're not clouding my judgement." Jax stated, somewhat angrily.

"Are you sure man? Everything you say always comes back to her lately." Opie questioned. That statement, for whatever reason, hurt. A lot. Especially coming from Ope. He was the one who never questioned me, never left me, and now it feels like he's questioning if I should be around.

"Ope, she isn't clouding his judgement. If it were Donna in the same shoes, I'd defend her too." Happy told him. I was grateful to Happy, but he is now on Clay's shit list because of me too, so I felt guilty. 

"Guys, please don't talk about me like I'm not here. Ope, you are one of the only people that has never questioned me until now. What changed?" I questioned him, my voice shook. I felt a little betrayed. 

"You did. You're not the same person you were before the incident." He carefully thought about the words he used, but it still backfired. 

"You mean before six of Zobelle's men, including Weston, raped me bloody? Because if that is the case, you can fuck off. I trusted you." I was getting increasingly upset. 

"You fucking let them. If you had just delivered the message, then it wouldn't have happened." He raised his voice at me, blaming me for the assault I had gone through. I felt rage take over and I curled my fingers into a fist. 

"I didn't let anyone, do anything. Let me make that very clear." I stayed calm, but my voice showed anger and rage. 

"The problem is, you fucking did because of your daddy issues." I was getting increasingly rageful at Opie.

"Yeah well daddy's dead. So there are no issues." I snapped. 

"Really? No issues, huh? So what about the assault? They didn't remind you of him when they did it?" He questioned with a snarky tone. It was at that point that I lost my patience and punched him in the jaw.

"Hadley!" Jax grabbed a hold of me.

"They raped me because of the fucking club, not because of anything I fucking did, asshole!" I screamed at Opie.

Jax let me go and Happy stared at me. It was the truth.

"So you do blame the club?" Opie spit blood.

"I blame the fuckers who raped me but it was because of the club. It wasn't my fault." I spat at him. "Stop blaming me for Weston's actions. The only thing I fucking did was fall for the VP. It's not my fault and it's certainly not my fucking fault that you guys run guns."

I was livid at Opie.

"Hadley." Jax stepped in.

"What?" I snapped.

"You need to stop." He said, sternly but quietly.

"I'll stop when people stop blaming me for being fucking raped." I almost screamed at him.

"Hadley, take a walk." Happy stated, emotionless. I was overwhelmed and angry. As I stepped out, I swiped things off the bench and slammed the door. When I got outside, I kicked the door as hard as I could.

"Fuck!" I yelled as loud as I could. This was ruining every relationship I've built. It was time now. Weston had to die. And I had to be the one to do it.