My Only Sunshine

Chapter 48

While I was waiting for Jax to get home, I had done some clean up and put Abel down for a nap. I had also fallen asleep on the couch when I woke up to hands touching me. I panicked at first, but when I realized it was Jax, I calmed down.

"Shit, I'm sorry, I meant to have Abel up and dinner started by now!" I criticized myself.

"Don't worry about it Darlin. Do you want to order in? We don't do that much anymore." He questioned.

"Yes, sounds great. Chinese? I'm just going to go get Abel up and then I'll order it!" I told him as I got up and pretty much bolted to get Abel.

I walked into his room and to his crib, I gently woke him up and then brought him back out to Jax. Jax held onto him while I called for the Chinese. I went back out to the living room once it was ordered and sat on the couch, beside Jax and Abel. 

"Hadley, are you doing alright?" Jax questioned carefully. I looked up at him, semi-startled at his question. 

"Yeah, I suppose so. I just have a lot on my mind." I told him honestly. 

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" He asked as he looked lovingly at Abel. 

"I just don't know if college is something I want to do. I want to be a forensic pathologist but it takes years to get there, and I don't want to miss time with these two." I told him, with a sadness in my voice. 

"Babe, I want you to do what makes you happy. I'm not putting any pressure on you. If you wanted to be the bartender after you have the baby, I'm okay with that." He said softly. I felt all warm and fuzzy from his answer. I leaned over and kissed him softly. 

"I seriously don't know what I did to deserve you." I told him when I pulled away. 

"Darlin, you deserve better after everything that's happened to you." He showered me with affection and I could have cried. I leaned into his side as he put Abel on his chest. My eyes felt heavy as I breathed him in. I woke up to the door bell ringing. I rubbed my eyes and stood up, moving towards the door. The handle twisted easily in my hand and I pulled the door open. A man with a bag of food stood at the door and then I remembered that we ordered Chinese food. Jax and I went into the kitchen and got Abel in his high chair. I got Abel some baby food as Jax set out the food on the table. 

I sat down in front of Abel and fed him while I took a bite of my food occasionally. I rubbed my belly once Abel had finished eating and finished my food. We ate dinner and I was lucky that Abel was still tired at 7 p.m. to get him down to sleep. I didn't know why, but I was just physically and mentally exhausted. I cleaned up after I put Abel to bed and then I sat on the couch with my head in my hands. "What's going on?" 

I looked up at Jax and I just shook my head. "I don't know, I'm just physically and mentally drained." I told him. 

"Hormones?" He asked and I shrugged, "It's possible." 

"Well, let's go to bed then." He put his hand out and I gladly took it. We went to the bedroom and I changed into pajamas and laid down. I rested my hand on my belly as I fell asleep. 

The next morning, I felt a bit better. Refreshed even. There was a note on Jax's pillow. 

"Good morning, 

Neeta is with Abel, spend the day doing nothing if you want, but rest. 

Love you,

Jax."

I smiled as I got up and out of bed, I ate some cereal and had my one coffee for the day and then I watched TV on the couch for the rest of the morning. It was actually nice to be able to do nothing. In the afternoon, I ended up napping on the couch. I slept for a couple hours at least. I woke up to the door opening and a couple of the guys coming in. Jax, Happy, and Opie walked in with Chibs on their tails. 

"Were you sleeping?" Opie teased. 

"I'm tired." I yawned as I rubbed my eyes. I stood up and went to the kitchen to grab the guys some beer. I went back out to the living room and handed them all a beer. They each took one and sat down. I sat down on the couch again before throwing on the TV as background noise while they chatted.

The movie What To Expect When You're Expecting came on so I just paid attention to that while they talked.

"I didn't know you liked chick flicks." Happy teased and then he continued with, "I thought you'd be the type to love horror."

I smirked. "I do love me some horror movies but umm... Have you seen me lately. I'm a little like a beached whale." I commented and they all cringed.

"No you're not. You look good!" Jax said.

"You kind of have to say that. I'm you're wife. And this is your baby." I told him.

"You're not a beached whale." Happy stated, more annoyed. I threw my hands up in defense before I laid my hands gently on my belly. "Prospect is coming to get some shit set up for the baby,"

I looked at him with a side eye and he shrugged. "Not Shepard." I nodded. At that point, I got up to go pee but as I went to stand up, the doorbell rang so I went to get it. The big guy and red head came inside. "Hi guys. Jax is in the living room with some of the other guys. Go see what he wants you guys doing." 

"Yes ma'am." The big guy said. I closed the door after they were in and then I walked down the hallway to the bathroom. I did my business when I got in there and then when I went back out, they were setting up the nursery. I went back into the living room and sat on the couch, I noticed they hadn't changed the movie and were actually watching it. I almost started giggling but I didn't want to embarrass them since, the baby was coming soon. I laid my head on Jax's shoulder and then continued watching the movie. When the miscarriage happened, I teared up a little bit. Always the saddest part of any movie.