Light and Shadows (Thranduil's story post BOTFA)

The heart of Legolas

As always, this amazing video doesn't belong to me but I absolutely love it!

Thranduil was back from the hunt and the boar that had been causing havoc had been killed. The King's small riding delegation came back with game and gifts from the woodsmen, mainly consisting of food and a few crafts, that they gave to honour the Elvenking. There was a commotion outside of the palace as the King and his men were now unmounting and heading inside. 

Legolas was coming back from the training grounds when he heard Thranduil's voice in the distance, coming from the throne hall. Although he had planned to go and take another look at the White Gems - something which, he found, soothed his spirit - he suddenly decided not to go into the throne hall and intersect with his father but instead seek some peace and solitude in nature. He passed by the elves from the palace hallways who greeted him respectfully and made his way outside into Mirkwood now known as Eryn Lasgalen. 

It was a beautiful sunny day and many elves were outside picking flowers and berries. Legolas was walking along the river path, silently and gently, taking in the smell of the healed earth and of the greenery that surrounded him. This was like the Greenwood of his childhood, the place he had once cherished and loved so much. Even so, its glow faded in the face of the image of the foamy sea, enveloping him with its call and luring him to abandon everything. He knew nobody in the kingdom understood the call to sail West - not even his father - for they had not heard it and were not able to comprehend the longing. Tauriel and all the wood elves in the kingdom cherished the forest more than anything... He wondered what Tauriel would have done if Thranduil had heard the call instead of him - would she have followed him or stayed behind? 

His father and Tauriel... Their relationship was still something new and strange to him. They both had always been very secretive about their hearts. Also, his conversation with Tauriel about Ithilien was lingering in his mind. Since his return, it almost felt like she avoided him. But he found out that it no longer bothered him as it would have done before. He felt sad, yes, that he would not have his dear friend by his side during his time left in Middle-Earth but he no longer wished to make anyone uncomfortable - including himself. The sight of her and Thranduil was something he was still not used to, no matter how much he told himself that he should have expected it. It was still making him uncomfortable, so Ithilien was a good escape after all. 

Of course, that was not the entire reason, but it was part of it and, of course, he could not mention this particular reason to Tauriel as he did not want to cause her upset. In truth, his heart was still conflicted. He did not know how he truly felt about her union with Thranduil. They were similar, he remarked, as he stepped now near the water, walking on white stones. They were well fitted together - both were strong, stubborn, ruthless when needed and they both had a quick temper. And that realisation instead of making things easier for him made them worse. He could not help but feel a slight bitterness within himself and an unwanted feeling of betrayal on both their parts. He loved them both yet he also did not want to be in their company anymore. Not like before. 

Why did his father not tell him about his attraction to Tauriel before? Why did he have to pretend that he didn't care, wearing a righteous mask of duty? And why did she not tell him about her true feelings for Thranduil? He felt he had lived a whole life together with them in a lie. Or perhaps he had been the one lying to himself about what he had always perceived as obvious between them... 

He picked up a perfectly round stone from the ground, polished over time by the river. He used to pick up these stones with Tauriel when he was younger and she would paint them in vivid colours of fall and spring, according to the season. He did not know that his departure would make Tauriel upset. After all, she had always been a bit distant in her feelings with him and treated him like just another companion. Now, she was scolding him for abandoning the realm when she had been the first to do it. Perhaps it was out of pure guilt, Legolas thought to himself, that she had been affected by his departure since she had partially caused it. Gone were the days when they would hunt together like two friends, laugh carelessly at feasts and pick up pebbles from the riverbank after a long day of training. Now things were changed forever, for all of them.