Dear Reader

Chapter 1

Dear Reader,

Well hello, I guess. This is my story. Not the way you'd think though. I'm gonna write you letters about lessons. Exciting I know (note that sarcasm there).In life you learn a lot. Whether it be the stuff you learn in school, or the stuff that you learn from experience. You learn a lot. You learn about love, friendship, music, and so much more. To completely tell you the truth, all that stuff that you learn in school to be quite honest is bullshit. You don't need to know half that stuff unless you plan to be like a historian or something like that. If it were up to the people doing the learning we'd be learning how to do our taxes and just stuff that we need to know. The real stuff you need to know comes from the experiences you have. Like getting your heart broken. That's where a lot of learning comes from.

One big thing I learned is love. There's all kinds of love. I know people say that all the time even John Green. To quote John and Hank Green "There's all different kind of love, there's all different kinds of farts". Yes by the way they did say that. Well anyway it's true. There's the love you give to family. There's the love you give to your friends. There's the love you give to your significant other. There are so many different types of love. It's insane.

So this letter is all about those types of love. The things about them that make you want to cry and the parts that leave you craving more. The thing about love is that it will make you go crazy. I'm not saying that you'll need an asylum. More that you spend all your time thinking about the people you love. Showing them how much you love them. It's kind of crazy.

Anyway, I guess I'll start off with the one we all experience at around the time we're five. That's the love you give to your friends. The one that's everlasting. Well hopefully. The one that makes you feel so happy that you could nearly die. I've had this feeling a few times, but the two times that stick out to me are when I met my best friends. I'm gonna change up the names a bit so that they know who they are yet others don't.  So I'll start with my first best friend. Her name's Alexa. Alexa is quite a character. She's so crazy and fun that I don't even know what to do with her half the time. She's the one who started it all. She's the original. She's been there forever that's why I love her. She's just as into books as I am. She's just amazing. Ashlyn on the other hand. She's insane, wild, and just down right a good time. She's the party girl of our friends. She always has fun no matter what. She's just amazing. Both are amazingly pretty and just down right gorgeous on the inside. These two girls are the reason I am who I am today. They are the reason I made some of my most important (at the moment) life choices. These girls are my life line. Without them I would never survive.

So now here comes the sad. This kind of love tears you apart little by little. It makes you feel like you're on cloud nine one minute then all of a sudden you 're waking up on the concrete. It's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen, but it destroys you all at the same time. This love leaves you wanting more. This is the love that destroyed me, yet fixed me at the same time. This love I gave to one guy and it ended with me heartbroken.

This is that story. So it was just a normal summer day. I had camp that day and we were going to the pool. So naturally I end up with one of my best friends Simone. Her and I are walking around when all of a sudden this guy pops out of no where asking to hang out with us. I'd seen him before around camp so we let him. Little did I know that this guy I didn't even know the name of would be my downfall. I ended up finding out his name, and it still haunts me sometimes. Sam. Three letters that won't leave me alone. So we hang out until we become really good friends. Some people actually think we're dating. I mean that's crazy! We're just friends. Why would anyone think otherwise. It was crazy. That was until one day. It was just like any other. We were going to the pool with camp. We decided to get out for a while and just hang out. So we were by the pool side just 'daring' each other to do stuff. I say 'daring' because you could just say no, and nobody would care, but there was one that people cared about. So Sam had "dared" our other friend to ask out his crush. He of course said no. I mean who would say yes to that? So we pushed him. He really liked her. So finally he said, "Fine I'll do it. If Sam asks Anna out." He didn't say this so I could hear, but I found out later when he indeed did. Not in the way you would think though. So he comes up to me- remember I have no idea what's going on- and says, "So just pretend I asked you out okay? If anyone asks you said no." This moment still haunts me. What was so wrong with me that he would tell me to say no? Am I really that bad? I was just shocked. I didn't understand. Later I learned why he said it, and I guess I was a little more okay with it. I mean how okay can you be with this.

So life went on. That was just the beginning of the roller coaster we would go through. This love taught me things that, I don't even know how to begin to explain. Sam taught me things too. He taught me how be myself, and now care what others think. He was my first love, but that's the thing. He won't be my last. I know he wasn't worth it. They say you never get over your first love. I think they're right.

Now there is something like this. It's a love that isn't returned. I had this with Sam. I loved him. The thing about that though is he didn't love me back. This happened on the other end too. I didn't love someone back. In fact I was in love with one of his best friends. Cringe worthy I know. So I met another guy at camp we're gonna call him Solo. So after I left camp I kept in contact with all my friends from there. One of them was Solo. So we were talking one day when Sam, and I were fighting (which was a long period of time). We were talking about love and just out of no where he tells me he loves me. Over text. I know not the best way, but none the less I didn't know how to react. So I did what any normal person would do. I told him the truth. I told him I didn't love him because I didn't. There was no way I could've learned to love him either. I knew what would happen even if I tried. One of us would end up heartbroken, and that would not be me. Even if I did like him in the slightest I was in love with one of his best friends. I didn't know it then, but that love wasn't going anywhere, anytime soon. It just wasn't meant to be (he 'fell in love' way too fast anyway).

I just don't see why we put ourselves through this. Why do we torture ourselves over someone who probably won't matter in a year? The answer to that is maybe that person will matter. Maybe they'll be the one. As humans we all have one thing in common. We're all searching for love. We think that love is thing that completes you. While that's true we're looking for the wrong type of love. We need to learn to love ourselves first. That's what will make you whole. Not some douchebag from freshman year. If we start thinking like that nothing will stops us.

Sorry to say this, but our time is up for now. I bid you goodbye, but you have to remember one thing from this letter. There's all different types of love; if you find the right one hold on to it. Hold on to the people, and things that make you happy. That's the key. Just live for now.

Sincerely,

your writer.