Dear Reader,
Now I'm positive this one will be very short and very unedited. The reason I say that is because not only and I typing this on my phone but it's late, well not that late, into the night. So you may ask why I'm writing, and this may sound dramatic but boys. That's why I'm writing this. I know that sounds really petty but hear me out. So I've kind of had this thing with a certain guy for years now it's been very rocky and very heart breaking. So on the weekend of the AMAs I had gone go my Twitter (@/halseyftptx btw ;)) and asked a stupid question. I asked them if I should send a picture of my favorite band to my ex-boyfriend. Some of the users had answered yes and I said what the hell why not. And so I sent him a picture of Pentatonix as I had promised and things went up but also went very downhill. We had started talking again and at the time I was shaking because I was so nervous about talking to him. So for some reason I kept talking to him and now a little over a month later we are still taking but things have changed. My friend who is going through sort of the same thing, not really, recently let go of her "toxic" relationship. Now these past couple days I've been thinking a lot about wether or not this is good for me at all. Being in this toxic relationship and just waiting for the moment that I'm going to get hurt. It's not just that though I had recently told him something I was very afraid to tell him and at first he was very understanding and then later in the night he had gotten very pushy about the subject as if I could change it. I know that last sentence is very vague but I feel that it's kind of stupid and I'm very embarrassed of it so please just try to accept how vague it is. Anyways, after that it had me thinking if I'm really happy with whatever me and this guy have. Well I figured out that I'm not entirely happy with it yes he does make me happy but I sometimes feel that I need to be something I'm not just to please him, and that I'm just waiting to get my heart broken. So I've decided to try and end things and I just needed to write it somewhere so I could kind of get some closure. I'm sorry about how short this is and how winy I sound. Anyways I hope you have a happy and safe holidays. Thank you to those of you who actually read this weird online diary I have here. I love and appreciate you all. Thank you. For just reading.
Sincerely,
your writer.
YOU ARE READING
Dear Reader
Non-FictionThere's a lot more to life than what people lead on. This is my story. Come along for the journey. trigger warning: contains mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts. Do not read if you are sensitive to that content.