Dear Reader

Chapter 6

Dear Reader,

So a lot has happened since we last talked. Homecoming was great me and my friends had such fun! It got a little wild (by Troye Sivan) for the juniors and seniors. As I heard during the week after all of them were either high or drunk. Myself, being a freshman, didn't do any of that for two reasons. One, because I don't want to mess up the rest of my life in freshman year with drugs and booze. Some girls in my freshman class have already done that and I don't feel like having the same fate. Two because I hold myself to a promise. A promise to myself. That I would never do that. 

I think it's important to promise yourself things. Not silly things though. It's kind of like a new years resolution, but better. This is one you actually keep. You don't need to promise yourself much or everything just important things. I promised myself that no matter how sad I get I will stay away from self harm. I understand that people who do that have reasons, but I don't want to take any chances with anything. I always want to remember the good in life no matter how rough things get. I'm not bashing people who do self harm. I get you have your reasons and sometimes it seems like all that matters is the bad. Trust me I've almost broke that promise to myself a few times. That's why I promised myself that. I knew it would seem like the world is an awful place. That I'm no where near happy, but I am happy. The world is a good place. That's why I started writing this. So I could have another way to get things out other than hurting myself. As an athlete who wear sleeveless jerseys all the time I don't think I could hide it either.  Anyways I believe that everyone has good in them. Sometimes good people make bad decisions. So if you do self harm just know that there is happiness, this isn't the end of the worlds. It's only the end if you make it. I know everyone says this but it does get better. By doings self harm or trying suicide you only end what could become something you are so thankful for you won't even remember why you were sad in the first place.

Another exciting thing that happened is my favorite band came out with a new album. It's Pentatonix by Pentatonix. It's amazing and if you haven't at least listened to it you need to now! I am so proud of them. Even though I haven't been a fan since 2011, I'm glad I'm a fan now. I not only love the band, but the fandom too. Pentaholics are amazing people, and I couldn't ask for a better fandom. Anyway go buy that #PENTATONIXALBUM. I'm proud to announce that they went number one on the Billboard top 200 beating out so many great names including Demi Lovato ( sorry for any lovatics out there I love Demi but I love PTX more)! I also made a new friend in my fandom her name is Allie and she is so sweet and so caring I love her already!

Anyways I've figured out thing recently that may have come as a shock to me. I figured out that I'm an awful writer. At least I think so. I saw something I was writing for my English class and I not only hated some of the story line but I also hate some of the way I write. I have not idea as to why but I just did. I know that some of you may think that and only read this because you can, somewhat, relate to this or maybe you're just reading this because I'm super dramatic. Either way thanks for at least reading. I was going to quit writing in general and just not have a way to get things out then I thought about, the very few but still there, people who do read what I write and how at least one of them must enjoy some of it. I was going to be selfish and just quit then I realized people actually read what I call shit. For that I'd like to thank all of you that do enjoy my reading I know I'm not the best at updating because of my busy life but thank you for being there. I would've quit doing one of the things I love most.  So for that I thank you.

My life has been going pretty good if I do say so myself though. I know the last chapter was about how it all went bad but it's around Christmas time and I can't help but be so happy I might explode. Looking around my room right now with my Christmas lights but and listening to Christmas music it all just makes life feel so simple. Like back when I was a little kid and all I had to worry about was if I was having fun or not. It all feels so amazing. I can't help but smile all the time. Don't get me wrong I all the rest of the year summer is softball season where I do the thing I love most all the time, fall is when I start getting bundled up and just getting cozy, spring is when life happens and when I get to go outside and just be free again, not to mention this spring I'll be driving. It's just during winter and Christmas season I feel at home and just so at peace. As if I'm away from all my troubles and I just am forever at peace. 

I know these past two chapters have not been the longest but I wanted to give you guys something so here it is two chapters in one day I hope you like both of them and I hope that you can see that good in life even when the going gets tough. Remember too someone out there loves you. Someone out there will miss you. Even though you don't know it they will miss you and they will be sad if you're gone. Think about this before you do anything too rash.  If you really do think that no one out there cares well I care because you take the time to read this. You take the time to hear about my problems so I want you to know that I'm here too. Next time you think you should try something remember what I'm saying right now. You are important.

Sincerely,

your writer.