Eat food, drink water, and get 5+ hours of sleep today or the bath bomb gets it *Insert toaster emoji* 🔫
"I just found out my toaster isn't waterproof. I was shocked." I greeted.
"Last time I checked, you're still fucking grounded." Shalnark stated.
"You can't control me. Not even god can control me. God only gave me depression because if my ambitions went unchecked I would beat him in hand-to-hand combat at age sixteen." I replied.
"I- whatever. Just never make a 'theory' again."
"I'm agreeing with Shark Tank on this." Killua said.
"Fineeeeee. Also, I've ungrounded myself."
"You can't-"
"Shhhhhh."
Day Get-away-demons of Shark Tank being a̵ f̵a̵t̵h̵e̵r̵ f̵i̵g̵u̵r̵e̵ f̵o̵r̵ t̵h̵e̵ c̵h̵i̵l̵d̵r̵e̵n̵ friends with the children :)
"The three stages of life. One: You're born. Two: WHAT THE FUCKKKK!?!?!? And then three: you die. Good times!" Shalnark explained.
"I'm going to take that as a 'no, you did not like us filling your house with glitter.'." I replied.
"I walked into my house and was covered by a fucking avalanche of glitter. So, no. I did not like you filling my house with glitter."
"Actually, that wasn't us. Y/n was just getting their facts wrong. It was... Hank. Yes, Hank. He is a plant." Killua informed.
"Yes, yes. That was Hank. The plant."
"I have camera footage of you breaking into my house."
"We were just trying to catch Hank."
"I saw you break the ceiling to dump the glitter into the house!"
"The camera... lied. Yes, the camera lied."
"How can a camera lie!?"
"Hank gave it twenty three dollars and two cents to frame us."
"I hate both of you."
Day HOW-THE-FUCK!? of Shark Tank being a̵ f̵a̵t̵h̵e̵r̵ f̵i̵g̵u̵r̵e̵ f̵o̵r̵ t̵h̵e̵ c̵h̵i̵l̵d̵r̵e̵n̵ friends with the children :)
"What the fuck's going on!?" Shalnark yelled.
"My fucking cereal's on fire!"
"Why is your cereal on fire!?"
"I don't fucking know!"
"How the fuck did you manage to set your cereal on fire!?"
"I put it in the microwave for an hour!"
"Why!?"
"It was soggy!"
"...Fair point."
"I know right. Soggy cereal is just ..bleh."
"Agreed."
YOU ARE READING
The Lion, The Witch, And The Audacity Of This Bitch
FanfictionBecause the title is probably to long: The Lion, The Witch, And The Audacity Of This Bitch Y/n, Shalnark, and Killua become online friends, and all of them are sleep deprived idiots with more mental issues than you can count. Or A story where Y/n...
