Eat food, drink water, and get 5+ hours of sleep today there's no threat, I'm having just the tiniest bit of faith in you guys 🥲
Day God-can't-save-you of Shark Tank becoming a father figure for the children
"Here's a list of thing that yes, are technically possible, but will probably never happen in our lifetime. Starting off the list at number one we have: me and you being mentally stable." Killua said.
"I swear I lose more and more of my mental stability whenever I talk to you two." Shalnark mumbled.
Day HAMSTER!?!? of Shark Tank becoming a father figure for the children
"Worried you might be a hamster?"
"No?"
"Well here are the warning signs."
"Why would I be worried that I'm a hamster?"
"Do you fall asleep during stressful situations?"
"Yes. That still doesn't make me a hamster."
"Are you awkward and don't know what to do with your hands?"
"..."
"Do you frequently shit the bed?"
"No, what the fuck!?"
"Do you hoard food and often isolate yourself for days at a time?"
"..."
"Do you tend to zone out and experience existential dread?"
"I- ...oh my god I'm a hamster."
"Do you have anger issues?"
"Maybe."
"Do you often cry when you look in the mirror?"
"...haha, no. Of course not..."
"Are you chubby?"
"These are getting a little personal..."
"If this sounds like you, you might be a hamster."
"How do I tell Uvogin!?"
"Yeah, you're definitely going to need marriage-"
"I will kill you while you sleep."
Day Movie-trailer of Shark Tank becoming a father figure for the children
"In a world where one man's sleep schedule is so fucked he doesn't know if it's five am or five pm, a compulsive trip to McDonald's brings his bank account to the edge of extinction. Experience the all mighty thrills, excitement, and insomnia of: What Fucking Time Is It!?"
"Killua, what the fuck?"
"It's my life's movie trailer."
"I-"
"My life is the knockoff version of yours." I stated.
YOU ARE READING
The Lion, The Witch, And The Audacity Of This Bitch
FanfictionBecause the title is probably to long: The Lion, The Witch, And The Audacity Of This Bitch Y/n, Shalnark, and Killua become online friends, and all of them are sleep deprived idiots with more mental issues than you can count. Or A story where Y/n...
