The Lion, The Witch, And The Audacity Of This Bitch

23: How to break out of jail!

Eat food, drink water, and get 5+ hours of sleep today or *INSERT THREAT*

"I'm boredddd." I whined. Why isn't it Christmas yet? As an immortal being, I should be allowed to decide when it's Christmas.

"We still don't have any ideas. I'm not playing any games with you guys." Shalnark replied.

"I have an idea!" Killua randomly shouted. Finally! It's been two hours! I was about to overthrow another government by myself, like a loser.

"Is it a good idea?" Shalnark asked.

"Depends. What's your definition of a good idea?"

"None of us gets hurt. I don't get covered in glitter. And we break at least four laws." Shalnark replied. I only agree with the last one.

"Then no. It's a terrible idea. We should go to jail." Killua suggested. ...wut.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Think about it, we all qualify to go to jail, and so we deserve to see what jail is like! It's not like we won't be able to get out!" Killua said.

"You want to start a riot, don't you?" Shalnark asked.

"...It would get me away from the clown."

"Let's go to jail!"

"Alright. But, you can't tell anyone. We have to see how long it takes anyone to break us out." I stated. We must see if they are about us.

"Deal."

IRL STARS, CARS, AND NON-BINARY GAY BARS (How to tell if the author was sleep deprived and or drunk off of apple juice while writing-)

"So... do we just walk up to a police officer and say 'I'm a murderer, arrest me daddy.' or what?" Killua asked.

"What the fuck. No. We have to get their attention illegally." I said. Illegal activities are fun. ...and we don't know how long we're gonna be in jail. Nobody cares about us. Please imagine the crying emoji.

"What are we gonna do, rob an ice cream store?" Shalnark scoffed.

______

"Give us all your ice cream and nobody gets hurt."

"...Who robs an ice cream store." Ice cream employee #1 asked.

"Seven year olds. Now give us the ice cream." Killua ordered.

"I can't believe you convince me to do this..." Shalnark mumbled. Yes but imagine our wanted posters. Wanted: Overthrew a government, murdered thousands, robbed a Baskin Robbins.

"Yeah... what's your name?" I asked.

"My name badge literally says Dave." Dave replied.

"We can't read. What's their name?" Killua asked, gesturing to ice cream employee #2.

"Habibi." Dave informed.

"Cool, cool. Anygays, here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna give us the ice cream. We won't pay, but we'll tip because we aren't monsters. Then we'll kill the people behind us. You'll call the police, we'll get arrested, and then we'll be back next week." I said.