Eat food, drink water, and get 5+ hours of sleep today or Shark Tank and Unicorn will stop getting marriage counseling
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"You kicked a rock into my fucking eye." Killua sneered. Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
"Oh." Shalnark said. "Unfortunately for you this book is sponsored by Child Abuse! Learn how to abuse your child today at-"
"Shut the fuck up." Killua grumbled. Yeah! Only I get to break the fourth wall!
"..."
"..."
"..."
"So about that marriage counseling-" I mentioned.
"Goddamnit, fine."
"I'm just saying- wait, what?"
"I'll get marriage counseling."
"Yes! Finally!"
"..."
"..."
"Wait, how'd you get in my house?" Shalnark asked.
"The door." I replied.
"...It's an improvement, I guess."
"I think we forgot to mention that we cut a hole in your bathroom and then installed a door." Killua said.
"God fucking damnit." Shalnark groaned.
"Yeah... so now you have a extra door leading into your bathroom."
"And you have to worry about random strangers walking in on you while you're in the shower."
"I'm going to kill both of you." Shalnark said, repeatedly bashing his head against the wall.
"..."
"..."
"So... we've already booked you an appointment to the marriage counselor."
"Of course you have."
"It's in five minutes."
"I- how am I supposed to get there-"
"Jinx, our normal cat, will teleport you and Unicorn there."
"Still a fucking Nen beast-"
✨Poof✨
Shalnark disappeared, leaving me and Killua alone in his house.
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Want to install more doors?" I asked.
"Sure." Killua replied.
With Shalnark and Uvogin
"Appointment for ...Shark Tank and Unicorn?"
YOU ARE READING
The Lion, The Witch, And The Audacity Of This Bitch
FanfictionBecause the title is probably to long: The Lion, The Witch, And The Audacity Of This Bitch Y/n, Shalnark, and Killua become online friends, and all of them are sleep deprived idiots with more mental issues than you can count. Or A story where Y/n...
