L O V E R - a Leah Williamson story

chapter twenty

I stayed with Leah's family for another day before leaving with her. I was still really upset with what happened with my mum and Leah didn't want me to be alone. Considering she almost broke up with me, she had been very caring.

Leah drove her car back to her house and I followed her in mine. I was staying at her house for the night so that we could have some alone time together before we had our Christmas night out with the Arsenal girls at this bar down the road from the stadium.

I parked my car outside of her house and walked with her to her door. "Alright?" She asked as she unlocked the door and let us in.

I nodded my head. My mind was still cloudy from what had happened previously. Although I didn't particularly like my mum, it felt weird knowing that she had basically disowned me. It was like I had no parents left, I felt like an orphan. I had told Leah this yesterday while we were cuddling in her bed, she had just held me and told me that I had her family there for me. As much as I appreciated this, it didn't feel the same.

I walked through to the living room and sat down on the couch before switching on the TV. Leah had gone through to her kitchen to make us both a hot chocolate.

"Here you go." She handed me the drink and sat down next to me. I looked at her before shuffling over so that I was leaning on her, Leah put her arm around me and gave me a kiss on my forehead. She then put both our drinks on the coffee table in front of the couch.

I sat with my thoughts for awhile before letting out a sigh and looking at Leah. "Are we okay?" I asked quietly. I felt insecure from our argument about my mum. It seemed that we went from almost ending to acting like everything was normal, when it clearly wasn't.

Leah sat up more so that she could look down at me. She raised her eyebrows and frowned, "Of course. What makes you ask that?"

I shrugged my shoulders and went back to watching the TV. Talking about emotions was never a strong point for me. I felt cringe and awkward whenever I did, and it somehow always managed to feel like the end of the world to me. Leah completely sat up and I took that as my que to move. I sat next to her and looked at my hands.

"Talk to me, y/n."

Leah took my hands in hers and gave them a slight squeeze. Looking up I saw her give me an encouraging smile, while still looking concerned.

"I don't know, it's hard to explain. I just feel off." I mumbled and leant back into the couch. Leah caressed my knuckles with her thumbs.

"Is it your mum?" She carefully asked, knowing how sensitive the subject was.

I swallowed hard as I felt a lump in my throat and tears beginning to gather in my eyes, desperately trying not to cry. "Mmhmm." I managed to get out before the first tear ran down my left cheek.

"Y/n." Leah let out sympathetically before lurching forward and bringing me into a tight hug. I buried my head into her chest so that I could hear her heartbeat as she rubbed her hand up and down my back. We swayed slightly before Leah laid back on the couch so that I was fully laying on her chest.

"God, I don't even know why I'm taking it this hard. I didn't even like her, in fact there was times when I dreamt of this moment." I explained.

"Yeah but she's your mum, y/n. You'll always have that bond. It's okay to feel hurt." She comforted me. What she said made sense. I had felt so confused on why I was upset with my mum disowning me, but a part of me was always going to feel like that. Even if I didn't want it to.

"Thank you." I mumbled as I reached up and gave her a kiss on her jawline.

"I'll always love you. You're the one for me y/n, I mean that." Leah replied as she smiled down at me and leant in to give me a proper kiss. I put my hand on the back of her neck to pull her into me. We broke apart as I smiled into the kiss.