Love Out Loud

Trapped hallucinations

Derek awoke to the regular beeping of a monitor,white walls and the smell of bleach and disinfectant,he scrunched up his nose as he tried to get up,how did he get here? everything hurts,his head feels like it was trying to fall from his neck and him shaking it to clear his thoughts was not helping,as he was finally able to sit up he shut his eyes and tried to remember why he was in a hospital and connected to lots of wires then his gaze fell on Eric, Eric was sitting close to him, holding his hand and was asleep using a side of his bed as a pillow,he cocked his head to the side still processing,he swallowed when he looked towards a corner and found Smith cuddled in Xavier's arm in deep sleep slowly he began to remember,the last thing he remembered was being in that horrible place

He snatched his hand away from Eric and held his head as the dirty scene began to play in his head,he remembered,he felt dirty, humiliated and used,why was he alive again?an arm tried grabbing him and he swatted it away yelling furiously as tears falls uncontrollably from his eyes"no no no, don't touch me,please, I'm sorry I'm sorry,please"he was screaming and this broke Eric's heart as his own tears broke out of their restraint,he knew it was going to be hard when he woke up,who would accept being used like that and just move on, Eric quickly rang the bell beside his bed and a doctor quickly rushed in"what's going on?"the doctor asked as he closed the door and approached the now violent Derek

"I don't know he woke up and began to freak out"the doctor nodded and tried going closer to Derek but found himself kicked to the door,he groaned as he tried standing up again"ouch, that was unexpected"he blinked the pain away and approached Derek again carefully this time"relax ok, I am not going to hurt you I just need to check you okay,relax you'll be fine"but Derek was so far gone he could not even hear any of the sweat coaxing,he was finally able to pull free from the Eric,Smith and Xavier holding him down, yanking all the wires out if his arms and quickly dashed towards the door,the doctor tried holding h back but found himself once again thrown to the wall, Derek opened the door and dashed outside,he continued to run, targeting the hospitals exit,not far behind him he saw Eric running after him but he could not stop his mind just focused on the word escape and that was what he was going to do, distracted by Eric pursuing him he slammed into something solid and tried to move away but could not,a security guy was holding him,in a matter of seconds he was lifted off the ground and he yelled as he was being carried away,every one who passes them either looked at them in pity or pure annoyance,

Derek was taken back to his room and four guards holding him down,this once again began to make him freak out,he tried getting out of their hold but their hold instead tightened, when he looked at the doctor he no longer saw the doctor but the man who abused him, and he was back in the hell of a place again being held down by guards and tied to a bed while the man had his way with him over and over again,the doctor held out a syringe and moved closer to him this sent him over the edge as he yelled once more before he began to hyperventilate,eyes wide open in horror and trashing around the bed,he was breathing,it was like his breathe got stuck in his throat,tears fell freely from his eyes"let him go"Xavier who was watching from the corner could no longer take it,he rushed forward and kicked the first guard in the stomach"let him go, you'll kill him first, can't you see what is happening?"and like that they let him go and Eric watched in horror as the once strong man he knew trashed around the bed eyes wide open,in tears and oblivious to the real world,

Xavier ran to him and hugged him,he held Derek's head and cried into his hair"shhhh Papa,you're fine, you're not there anymore, you're here with us please come back Papa, sorry we didn't get you earlier Papa please,calm down I beg you"he cried harder and louder, rubbing his hands up and down Derek's back and murmuring sweet words of comfort into his ears,he tensed when he felt him touch his shoulder thinking he was going to be pushed away but smiled when Derek burrowed his face deeper into his chest and cried,not just an adult tears but a very broken,tired and defeated adult tears,the tears he could not shed all this years,the pain he could not make known to anyone,he poured it out as he held on to his baby, Eric could no longer stand,he was tired too,he sat down on the hospital floor and melted into a puddle,he cried too pulling his hair and punching the ground,how was he going to be okay when the only one he loved is trapped into the hallucinations that his pains had brought him,Smith held him close"hey, come on he'll be fine,see he's no longer crying, he'll be fine,just give him time okay,give him time"he hugged Eric and cradled his bloody hand into his lap,the doctor who just stood confused in the middle of the chaos was finally able to move,he signed wiping away his own tears

"I am sorry Mr Eric,I think it's bigger than I thought, we'll have to do more extensive tests to know how far this is,I think he'll suffer from trauma for a long while"he shook his head trying to make his voice steady but it still shook"what the hell exactly happened to him?"he wasn't expecting an answer but he asked anyways,in his years of working he hasn't came across any case like this one, anyone this livid would not allow anyone hold them but he calmed down after some few minutes of being held by the young man and now his breathing was normal, like he fell asleep, without even an injection"Just don't excite him too much, he's prone to having panic attacks if he's stimulated too much"he patted Xavier's back"I think you should lay him down,he fell asleep on you"

Xavier nodded and tried moving away but Derek's hold on his tightened"I think I'll just stay like this"he moved Derek into a more comfortable position and patted his back,this is the man who held him when he was sick and never left his side,he thought him self defense and heavy fighting skills,he raised him to be strong even from prison he cared for him,he had asked himself why Derek was so insisted on him learning to fight and defend himself,he didn't know it was because he wanted to avoid this kind of pain from him,he signed as another tear fell from his eyes,he kissed the man that has always been a strong father figure behind him on his head"you'll be fine daddy, you're strong,you did it before you can do it again,I believe in you"every one was so tired and sat down anywhere they could find,on the ground,on the chair just anywhere,the doctor nodded and went out"ring the bell if you need me or anything"Xavier nodded ,they all stayed like that for a while, suddenly Eric stood up with clenched fists and angry eyes"o okay,calm down now,where are you going?"Smith slowly asked,he knew that expression and it was when Eric wanted someone dead that he always has that look

"I'm going to pay someone a visit,stay with them"he made it to the door before Smith yanked him back"where are you going?"he asked scared"you'll know where soon"Smith tried stopping him again but the cold rage in his brothers eyes made him sit back to the ground and nod"don't leave this place, don't let anyone touch him if he isn't ready even the doctors,don't let the guards leave their position if it's possible get more men to guard this hospital,I'll be back"Smith nodded and watch his brother leave the hospital and even though he knew his brother was right to be angry he could not help but being bothered about him,he smiled when he saw the big and strong Derek wrapped in Xavier's arms,he shook his head,they look like twins if you watch them like that,same golden locks,same tattoo except one and same green orbs for eyes,he brought out his phone and took a picture of them,father and son,he signed, would Eric do anything just for his safety?"I bet he would but I don't ever want to experience all this bad thing just to know if he would"he shook his head, Derek was strong,he would win but how quickly can you forget an harm inflicted on your spirit,soul and body? he shook his head as he goes to rearrange the pillow under their head and kiss Xavier on the forehead,Xavier stirred and that beautiful eyes looked at him"sleep more,I'm just checking on you"he nodded and pulled his father close to him before closing his eyes and falling back to sleep