Us Against All Odds (En)

letters

Not everyone needs, or even wants, to know why you feel this way or that way about something. Some things are better kept to yourself.

Nicholas Sparks

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Carina,

My love, my reason for living.

I will never find the right words to express my feelings to you. How can you tell the love of your life how you feel when you know that words are useless?

But that is not why I am writing to you today.

From the moment I fell in love with you, even the first time, I was always afraid you would break my heart.

You managed to reach a part of me that had never been approached by anyone. And I know now that you never want to break it, and I thank you for that. Even if I did break it for you. And yet without knowing it, I have had my heart broken by you.

I can't believe that you, the most loving person in the world, the most beautiful, the most heavenly, could have been hurt. Why, how, and it breaks my heart. I ache for the version of you at seventeen and ever since. I wish I had known you back then to protect you. But how am I supposed to protect you when I couldn't protect myself?

I put you in danger by going to provoke him. Why did I do that? Loving you gave me wings, and I blame myself, if you hadn't stayed in the hospital, something bad could have happened to you, a second time and it's my fault.

I broke your heart because of Jack, I broke your heart, literally with the tako tsubo and I could have hurt you even more.

I don't deserve you but I can't resign myself, I love you so much.

I want to treat you every day as you deserve, you are a queen. And I want to see to your happiness every day. To make you forget the past. I want to be able to be the person for you who will make you happy.

This story, then the death of your mother, then your brother, then your bipolar father, your fiancée who is assaulted and forgets you, the tako tsubo and so on, why so much hardship for such a wonderful person? Why do you have to go through all this? You are the most beautiful person in the world. And in spite of all that you lived, you remain of an infinite kindness, I never met someone like you.

Before you I had never loved and you will always be the only love of my life.

I want to avenge you, but your attacker is dead. I want to kill my genitor and his sidekick for daring to get close to you. I'm so glad he didn't go through with his plan, whatever it was.

I will be forever hurt by what happened to you, but I owe it to myself to be strong like you are. I don't ever want to have to make you feel like a victim like I have these past few days. I'm sorry.

I promise to dedicate my life to making you proud and happy. And to do everything in my power to make you feel safe.

Ti amo per sempre

Your wife

//

Lane,

I admired you for a long time, then feared you. I remember so many times now, the one time I had friends over, when you came downstairs, I got the fright of my life, well not literally, I think that one came a little later. It's crazy, but the last thought that crossed my mind just before I passed out was not even my life. I didn't realize it when I did my first hypnosis sessions, probably because I didn't remember it. But I can see myself very clearly now...