Summer Nights

16: 'The day my world went quiet part 1...'

I frown deeply as I frantically type and scroll down my laptop screen, Autie and I were beginning our search for apartments in New York today. But I still didn't know, if Julliard was even what I wanted.

Fuck, I don't even know what I want to study anymore.

Because now I feel this enormous pressure of doing a degree where I'm more or less guaranteed a job after it. I had a baby to think about now, I couldn't risk struggling for money by working part time because my main focus is going on auditions.

'This is impossible! Why is everything so expensive?'

'Because it's one of the most expensive cities in the world.' She murmurs before pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

I flash her a nervous grin, 'W-We could always look at the building, Luke was looking at.'

She gives me a look, 'Me and Luke just got together. I don't think that living in the same building is going to be healthy.'

I grip the corner of the table as a sharp cramp penetrates my stomach, I shift on my seat, 'But...it's so cheap!'

She sighs loudly, 'How cheap?'

'Live saving us four hundred dollars a month cheap.'

I turn my laptop screen around, so I can show her how pretty the apartment is, which only seems to make her groan loudly.

I watch in amusement as Luke sneaks up behind her making her jump, I can't help but feel warm at their playful interaction. It just made me feel so utterly happy knowing that they have so much adoration shining in their eyes whenever they look at each other.

I longed to find someone like that.

Sure, I've had boyfriends. But I don't think anyone has ever truly made me feel special, they've always ended up getting bored or frustrated with me. 

I truly don't think the pain of being a hopeless romantic gets talked about enough. Because I will always try to find the good in any type of situation because I'm so stupidly in love with the idea of being in love.

I snap out of my thoughts when I notice Luke's furrowed eyebrows.

'Anyway, what's the issue?'

I flash Autumn an apologetic smile, 'Autie is worried that if we move into an apartment in the same building as you, things are going to get complicated between you both.'

My eyes widen as her jaw clenches tightly, 'Scar.'

'I-I know it isn't my place to say anything but we're running out of time!'

A shaky sigh escapes from her lips, 'Y-Yeah, I guess I'm a little worried that if we're going to be so close to each other things will get unhealthy and you'll get sick of me.'

I bite the inside of my cheek as another surge of pain ripples through my body, I clutch onto my stomach as I attempt to try and make myself as comfortable as possible.

'Scar can you give us a minute?'

I nod quietly as I scurry out of the room, the second I'm on my own, I allow a whimper to escape my lips.  

'Fuck.' I hiss before I feel warm liquid run down my thigh.

I let out a strangled sob as my shaky hands reach down to touch the liquid, tears shine in my eyes when I see my finger-tips are stained with a deep crimson. 

'No, no, no,' I whisper to myself.

I stagger back into the kitchen, crying in pain with every step that I take. Autumn's eyes widen as she examines my appearance, her entire face paling drastically.