In the end, it's only us (Natasha x reader

She's gone

Y/n pov

"You don't have to do this Daniel, the venom is going to kill me anyways" i say but he just throws me onto the floor before him, the living room floor. It's one of the highest levels of the tower. But it surprises me that he's not whitering in agony, why hasn't he turned yet? The whole tower is on high alert so it wouldn't matter weather he walked around on two or four legs.

"You could do many bad things in that time, i need to end you now"

"Then why don't you? Huh? I think it's because deep down you're still my Daniel" the words feel weird upon my tongue but i still mean every one of them.

"And i think you're delusional, i never loved you Y/n, don't you understand"

"And why don't i believe you?"

"Because these people have gotten into your mind that you deserve to be loved, that you aren't a monster, a killing machine, unlovable" with every hard word, he takes one step closer to me, backing me up against the windows. If he cracked it, i would fall. And not survive. Maybe long enough to hit the ground, but i would feel every single thing, how every bone in my body would break, how my lungs would collapse upon themself. How my heart would start to deteriorate. I would truly... die. And not come back this time.

Tony pov

"Leaving so soon?" i interrupts the pushing Y/n up against the window.

"No, but she is" Daniel says and with a grin he takes one hit against the glass and it feels like everything is moving in slow motion. I see the panic in her eyes as they meet mine and her body starts to lean back. Shots are fired from Clint beside me and both the super soldiers are ready to fight. But Y/n's already falling so i push away in my suit to catch her. I move at the same speed at the bullets hitting Daniel, killing him. Sam must be with Natasha to keep her out of harm's way, and with Wanda in the Medbay after getting thrown through a wall. Everything is still moving so slow, why won't it go any faster, i won't make it in time. I have at least 750 feet to catch her, i can make it.

"Tell Natasha i love her and that i'm sorry" her voice echoes in my minds, and since i don't know how to answer but fully knowing that she can hear me, i say.

"You can tell her that yourself" but as i finish my words a blue vortex opens up beneath her and swallows her whole before closing on itself as soon as she's through. But at the last minute i shot away one of my gloves to attach itself onto her own hand, hoping that it'll help wherever she lands and that i'l find her.

But she's gone, she's really gone. I don't know where she went, she just went through that whole and disappeared. It'll be no body to bury, never knowing if she made it through to the other end or will soar forever between places and worlds.

Five weeks after Y/n went through the portal

Natasha pov

I would say i was awakened by Wanda coming back into the room, but truth be told, i never feel asleep. If i do, i only dream of her. All happy moments until i'm reminded of my last words to her. And if Wanda only knew what was resting in my drawer, next to me. A letter and five vials. Veils with her blood and the note telling me that it's my choice, how to do it if i ever still want to. And if not, it could be used to heal anyone if they got really hurt on a mission. If she only knew how much i was considering doing it just so that i could use that humanity switch and shut everything out. Make everything stop hurting. Or the knife, next to it. It would have been a gun, but Clint took them all away. Smart.

"There is coffee and cookies serving in the kitchen, if you want any" her voice is almost as deadbeat as mine. Thought i don't have any more tears to give, but i'm sure that i could still break down in tears anytime. Like a sleepwalker i walk past Wanda and towards the kitchen, not knowing if she followed me or not.

"She has to be out there somewhere" i hear a mans voice in the kitchen and it brings me out of my own damn head for once. I hide behind the doorframe so they can't see me but i can listen.

"We've been looking for over a month, she's gone" another man answers even more hopelessly.

"No, she has to be somewhere" the first one says. I can barely figure out who's voice belongs to who.

"As much as i hate to admit it Stark, i have to agree with Steve. I don't want to believe that my sister is dead, but she is" a third man says that must be Bucky, and the second one Steve.

"We don't know that" The first one, Tony, says.

"But we don't know if she's alive either" Bucky says with a sign. "I thought she was dead for seventy years. I got to see her again and i know that wherever she is, she's alright"

"So you admit that you still believe she's alive out there" Tony says but just as they're about to answer, i step on a creaking floorboard, letting them notice that i'm there.

"Sorry, didn't mean to eavesdrop" i say, my voice a but horse, as i walk into the kitchen to join them. All three of them seem genuinely surprised to hear my voice.

"Yes you did" Steve says, looking right through me.

"Nothing new?" i ask with all the hope that i have left. I know it feels hopeless, but there is something in my heart that tells me that she's alive, that she's waiting for us to find her.

"It's been five weeks, maybe we should consider the possibility that she's gone" Steve says and i can't believe his words.

"No" both me and Tony snap at him before i continue. "Absolutely not. Just because we can't find her doesn't mean that"

"She's right, for all we know she's out there waiting for us to find her" Tony adds and i'm glad that someone has the same mindset as me.

"You know i got to be married two days, two days. I'm not letting it stay that way"

"You should get some sleep" Steve says instead and i just let out all the air inside my lungs.

"I don't need sleep Steve, i need to find my wife" i say before storming back out, forgetting about the coffee on the table. But he's right, i won't be able to find her if i don't sleep. But i can't sleep, i've gotten so used to sleeping next to Y/n that i can't without her. And it's not having someone next to me that's the problem because Wanda's sleeping there now, guarding me. It's her, like i feel her love calms me down, how i feel her breathe just to remind me that she's there. Her cold arms wrapped around my warm body, holding me close.

"Where are you?" i mutter out to the starts as i sit down in her balcony chair. That's the eternal question now. "Where the hell are you Y/n?" i ask the starts again as i let my eyelid close and a tear fall down my cheek. Feeling the ghost of her hand on my cheek, trying to wipe away my tears.