SHE AIN'T LIKE A SISTER NO MORE

Chapter 58 ~ "What the f*ck are you doing Jen?"

JUSTIN

I can't believe my fucking eyes.

My girl.

I watch as she walks across the stage, and the view instantly floods my mind with memories. She used to walk towards me like that...back when she wanted me.

She looks fucking incredible in tiny black shorts and a red bikini top. There's really not much to remove at all. Her hair is longer, her curls brushing the top of her ass. She looks absolutely gorgeous. A little too skinny, but still fucking beautiful.

"Phwoar! Fuck me...now I see what's got you so caught up!" Chaz says from beside me.

My teeth and fists clench shut tight.

"You need to get Chase out before he embarrasses us all." I say, although I'm surprised that my brain is working.

"On it!" Chaz replies quickly before disappearing.

I'm half aware of a scuffle and yelling near the door, and I imagine Chaz using all his strength to get Chase out.

"Fuck man..." Ryan says. I can see him in my peripheral vision, looking down and digging his feet into the filthy carpet. I barely notice as I stare ahead, although I'm thankful that he's doing his absolute best not to look.

I watch now, as she wraps her hand around the pole and lifts herself off the ground, spinning around the pole perfectly.

She's fucking beautiful.

I'm frozen in place, every emotion flooding through my veins like white water rapids. Crashing together with painfully loud cracks, making it hard to distinguish which emotion is which and which one I want to focus on first.

Anger, sadness, lust, fury, love, disappointment...it's all there.

"Ryan..." I say softly, although I know he'll hear me.
"I didn't know bro...I'm so sorry." He mumbles, shaking his head and staring at the ground still. He's even brought a hand up to shade his eyes. I'm not sure whether he's resisting temptation to look, he genuinely doesn't want to see or if he's not looking because he knows I'll beat the living fuck out of him if he does.

I want to run up onto the stage and pull her down by her hair, I'm that fucking angry. The next second I want to wrap my arms around her and tell her I love her, that she doesn't have to do this.

I want to ask her whether this is her payback. If this is her way of hurting me as much as I hurt her. I want to ask her why she wants to break me even more, creating a shell of the man I once was.

This is a kick in the face and it hurts like all fuck.

More so because I did this. As much as I want to blame her right now, this one is on me. All of it. If I hadn't have fucked up, this wouldn't be happening right now.

I rise to my feet, unable to take my eyes off of her. My fists are still painfully clenched at my sides, my teeth grinding and my nostrils flaring in pure anger. I use everything in my power not to walk right up to her, pull her off the stage and drag her out through the front door.

When she teasingly plays with the buttons on her shorts, my mouth waters, and I have to remind myself what the fuck is going on here.

She's dancing to 'partition', so much classier than all the other girls I've seen throughout the night. She gets on all fours, then lowers herself onto her elbows. Her perky ass up in the air, slow grinding to the beat, slowly moving her way across the floor until the beat drops. She doesn't miss a beat, teasing the crowd of cheering men like she's done this for years.