SHE AIN'T LIKE A SISTER NO MORE

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE-"CONGRATULATIONS 'DADDY'!"

JEN
I feel like I've been hit by a tonne of bricks.
As though I've just stood atop a building and fallen from 80 floors high.
My whole world completely crashing down around me.
Justin's clothes slip from my hands down to the floor, as I feel uncontrollable tears begin to slide down my face.
"Jen..." Justin says softly, standing up from the bed and walking towards me.
"No!" I whisper, taking a step back and falling against the chest of drawers.
"It's not mine baby..." he whispers back, getting on his knees in front of me, his face covered in tears.
"Don't..." I reply, covering my ears.
"Please believe me Jen...I'll get a DNA test!" he says, reaching for my hands.
"How? When...?" I ask, slapping his hands away from me and feeling extreme dizziness all of a sudden.
"She called when you were in the kitchen..." he says softly, placing his hands back to his sides, letting out a defeated sigh.
"You slept with her?" I ask, my heart dropping into my stomach.
"No baby...well...I mean...yes, but..."
"When?" I whisper shakily, not even able to look him in the eyes now.
"Before us baby...and I remember it was shit, and I threw the condom in the bin after..." he replies, trying to pull me closer. I automatically flinch away. The fact it happened before us provides a little comfort, but somehow not enough.
"How long before us?" It comes out as a string of broken sobs.
"What does that even matter? That kid ain't mine Jen!" He says, throwing his hands in the air.
"How fucking long Justin?" I ask through clenched teeth.
"Two days..." he mumbles, looking towards the ground.
"Oh that's fucking gross..." I reply, finding a tiny bit of strength and standing up.
"I didn't...I mean, I was thinking of you..."
"FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!" I scream back, anger taking over me. "Oh...that's right, the scratches...she sure as hell left her mark didn't she! Congrat-u-fucking-lations DADDY!!" I yell, storming down the hallway.
"Jen, please, just fucking listen to me..." He pleads, following me through the house.
"Justin, I'm fucking sixteen years old! I can't fucking deal with this shit!!!" I scream, grabbing my bag and collecting my things.
"What? Where are you going?" He asks, grabbing me around the waist.
"Don't fucking touch me!" I scream through my tears, pushing him away.
I look up to see his eyes filled with pain, and almost change my mind. Almost. Not quite.
"I can't do this...I can't...fuck Justin...what have you done?!" I groan, grabbing my phone and reaching for the door handle.
"Please...please don't walk out that door Jen, I'm fucking begging you right now. I'm sorry...I'm so fucking sorry!!" I stare at the door, my hand on the knob, listening to his painful pleas.
"I can't live without you Jen...please? Just...fuck!!!" I hear a thud, and assume he's dropped to his knees once again.
With my breathing heavy, sobs wracking through my body, I turn the knob slowly before stepping out and closing the door behind me.
"Jen? Fuck! No! Please baby! Don't fucking leave me!!" I hear Justin screaming through the door.
I drop my head in pain, his voice literally breaking my heart into a thousand pieces.
"I'm sorry." I whisper, more to myself, because I know he won't hear me, before walking down the path and away from his house.
JUSTIN
"Fuck!!" I scream, as pain shoots through my body, straight to my chest and into my heart. I kneel on the ground in tears, as I literally feel her get further away, our aura slowly vanishing with her.
"Stop! Please!!" I yell, pulling myself to my feet and opening the front door.
I can't see her anywhere. She's fucking gone. I fucked up and she's gone!
My everything, my world! My fucking FOREVER!!!
Suddenly my hands and feet are working on their own, as I storm over and pull everything off the shelf, throwing it all to the floor, before pushing the whole shelf down, watching it crash to the ground.
Cursing and yelling, I punch the wall creating an instant hole. Not feeling any pain, I punch the wall again and again, before putting my foot through it.
Hurt, anger, frustration running through my body, I'm not sure how long it is, or how much damage I've caused, before I fall to the ground, sobbing desperately, still begging for her to come back.
JEN
'Can't make it to the game, I'm really sick.' I press on 'Coach', before hitting send.
Seeing the bus coming, I stand on shaky feet, facing the ground as it approaches. Pulling the hood of Justin's sweatshirt over my head, I climb onto the bus and take the furthest seat back.
What the fuck just happened?! How the hell had we gone from perfect blissful couple one minute, to this...
Did I make the right decision walking out? I'm 16 for fuck sake! There's no way in hell I can be a stepmother at 17! I've got so much ahead of me...school, basketball, college.
Justin...my J...his music. Holy shit, what has he gone and gotten himself into?!
Feeling the tears start to fall again, I bring my knees to my chest and inhale Justins scent from his hoodie.
Her...the fact he was inside of her...the scratches...pregnant?! Holy shit! Hundreds of thoughts and visions coming at me per second, it's too much. The thought of him on top of her...I knew Justin had his 'regulars' as he used to call them. But now, being so in love with him...it hurts like hell.
The fact that so many girls have felt the pleasure I've felt, thanks to him.
The ones that have seen him butt naked, in his most beautiful state.
The ones who've woken up next to him, cuddling into him.
I can't deal with this. My heart won't let me. I'm too young for whatever all this is...Justin, love...it was all too good to be true. Nothing is ever that perfect, I should have known it from the start that I didn't deserve such happiness. Such perfection.
My only way to deal is to detatch myself. The pain...the loss...it's all too much.
----10th march----